The Naruto Dattebayo Awards
by Shizuneeee
Summary: The time has come to select winners for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards! Your hosts are Rock Lee and Yamanaka Ino, guiding you through 100 categories (with a little humor), celebrating the best in the Naruto anime series! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show! Now a fan favorite! Don't forget to vote!
1. Welcome to The Naruto Dattebayo Awards!

**Note: This is highly based on the Oscars and the Legend Of Aang awards by Carrot-Bunny**

* * *

"Well, we're done here with the Red Carpet, so let's get started!" says a blonde kunoichi wearing a flowing violet dress. The two hosts of the Naruto Dattebayo Awards stood in the middle of the deserted red carpet waiting for more guests to arrive; but it seems like everybody was already inside.

But not everybody was inside. There was still the infamous Team Taka; headed by Sasuke Uchiha; that have not yet arrived.

"Sasuke and his comrades are not yet here. Should we keep waiting for them?" asks the boy in the tailored green suit next to her.

The girl beside him yawned. "I'm heading for the auditorium. You can wait for them as long as you like." she began her walk back to the auditorium.

"Omachikudasai!*****" the boy ran to her, knowing the people watching the awards straight from their TV sets clearly saw what happened.

* * *

The auditorium was filled with various characters from Naruto. People from every country were seated together. Part I or Part II or even appearing in both, old or young, important or... let's just say everyone's important, and even the evil ones and the dead were there. People were either talking in groups or badmouthing someone else present, for almost everyone could find another person they disliked in the room. Most certainly Pain. He was there too, albeit tied to a post.

Let's just say everyone; save for Sasuke and the rest of Taka; were there. There were enough people that it can fill a whole city. Luckily, there were more than enough seats for everyone.

Suddenly the lights grew dim and the chatter stopped as the curtains on the stage drew back to reveal a podium. Even Konohamaru stopped talking to Nawaki, as he was sure of himself to get an award.

As everyone watched, a teenage boy and a blonde girl walked out from backstage. They each held a microphone in their hands and the boy was also holding a sheet of paper. He stepped in front of the podium and lifted up his mike.

"Konnichiwa ladies and gentleguys and OOOH SAKURA-CHAN! ((this earns a punch from Ino)) and welcome to the Naruto Dattebayo Awards! I'm Rock Lee and this is Yamanaka Ino. We'll be your hosts for the event as well as your entertainers to keep things interesting during the whole awarding process! So without further ado, I present -"

He was cut off by the blonde girl. "Shut it. It's my turn to talk. Sorry Mr. Bushy Brows, but I'll be taking it from here." As her fellow host shot her a glare she couldn't see, she stepped in front of him.

"The rules are simple. Voting will be open from the moment we announce the category and will close the vote 24 hours later. How to vote? Vote through the review box! So remember people, your votes are what keeps this show going. If you don't want to see a hiatus you'd better start voting like your life depends on it! And relax, this is not a death threat. Back to you, Bushy."

"Uhh.. thanks for the nickname." Lee said sarcastically. "So... yeah. The first category IS… (pause for dramatic effect) 'Favorite Episode'! Voters will choose from the all the episodes in the series, excluding OVA, pilot episodes, movies and the like. Voting begins right this moment, and in 24 hours' time we will announce the winning episode!"

"You mean IF there is a winning episode already. I'm not putting too much hope on this."

"Aren't you a sweet flower, eh Miss Yamanaka?" Lee asked her, looking at her cleavage, which earned him a good hit near the eye from Ino.

"Can it, Lee. Did someone have the guts to teach him all this?" All eyes were trained on Jiraiya, who kept on shaking his head.

Ino rolled her eyes, cleared her voice, and continued. "Anyways, the winning episode will be represented by a character who first appeared in the episode, or to whom the episode has some significance. The character will be invited on stage to receive the trophy and say a few words". She took out a golden trophy in the shape of Pakkun, which earned a few stares on a shocked Pakkun himself. The only difference, other than the size of the figure, was that the Konohagakure symbol on his forehead protector had been changed to the engravement of the Naruto logo. Ino set down the trophy on the podium. "The character then gets to keep the trophy. It makes a good paperweight, I've tried it out."

Lee stared at the trophy. "Hey, why is it in the shape of Pakkun? Why can't it be in the shape of me or something? That way it'll look way cooler."

"Gee, Lee, I don't know. Maybe it's because you didn't like the idea of you doing the Harem Jutsu" then she turned to the audience and whispered. "Trust me, you won't like it either."

"Okay, fine, I get your point."

"Glad that you did, Baka." Ino turned back towards the audience. "So, people, start voting right now! We'll be giving out the award when the winner comes out, so until then it's sayonara for now! Ino and Lee signing out!" She then dragged a protesting Lee backstage with her, ignoring his cries of "Why is it your name first? Why isn't it mine? Doesn't 'Lee and Ino' sound better?"

"Shut it, baka, or I'm kicking you off the show and putting Pain in your place!"

The bush-browed boy fell silent, and the curtains fell on the stage.

* * *

**This is NOT an excuse to get you guys to review. I basically don't want to cause any trouble with polls as, at times, there are too many please, VOTE!**

**Well, you heard Ino, start voting now! I'll be checking the results in 24 hours' time, so until then keep those votes coming! Suggestions for categories are welcome as well! Remember, folks, this whole show depends on your votes, so keep voting to keep this show alive! Thanks!**

***- please wait!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies, which took forever to make. You try carving Pakkun on a mini-sized mould, not to mention burning the molten gold and the rejected trophies with the genderbent Lee carved on them.**


	2. Favorite Episode

**So... the results are in! And.. another category! Woot woot!**

* * *

The curtains rose and our two hosts stepped onto the podium again, a sheet of paper on Ino's hand. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, after 24 hours the results are OUT!"

"Actually, it's one day." Annoyed, Ino punched Lee in the face.

"So.. yeah. We have a winner, and I'm happy to say we got it! Thank you people for all your votes, your responses have been most enthusiastic! Well, some of us here *cough Lee cough* didn't think you'd bother to vote at all, but I'm glad to say we have quite a number of votes so thank you all your support!"

"For those who are new to the show," Ino continued, "this present award is for the 'Favorite Episode'. We- or should I say- Lee thought nobody would vote at all, but thanks to you we now have a winner! The rule was that a character who first appeared in the episode or to whom the episode has some significance will be chosen to represent the episode, but for our winning episode we have _five _characters receiving the award. Without further ado, I give you our 'Favorite Episode': Ino Screams! Chubby Paradise!' or should I say, episode 192!"

As the applause rang through the hall, Lee had the guts to ask another question. "What? You're joking. I think you rigged the votes!" Lee doubted. In response, Ino handed him a piece of paper which said 'results'. After opening the paper, Lee fainted.

As the applause died, Naruto, Tsunade, Fuka, and Chikara walked onstage to join the hosts. When each one had already received his or her 'Golden Pakkun' trophy, Ino picked up her mike and balanced her trophy on her other arm. "Yes, we have five characters receiving this award! Even I recieve an award! *laughs* After all, this was the episode that I played Princess Fuku over there! It was to be expected that the humor and of course, ME, made this episode a clear winner!"

Lee regained his consciousness. "It was not all you! There is still Lady Tsunade who gave you that mission! And Naruto who did the humor! And of course, the Princess and the Prince."

"Pfft. This is my- er... our moment to shine!" Ino looked at Naruto for a second, who nodded, and then back to the audience. "So... yeah folks, we couldn't have done it without your votes! Thank you thank you THANK YOU for the support and we hope to give us your support in the next categories! And now a few words from the others themselves!" With that, Ino winked at Naruto handed the mike to him and stepped backward, letting the jinchuriki step onto the podium.

"Haha. Okay. This was unexpected. So... yeah. To Ino, we couldn't have gotten Fuku and Chikara together without your help, and they will remember you forevermore for your assistance. I also want to thank Jiraiya-sensei for teaching me more about girls; hehe; to be able to turn into Ino, also to Tsunade-obaa-chan for giving us this mission, also to Fuku-hime for.. sending a request to Tsunade-obaa-chan about it. And of course, the participation of Chikara over here. Thank you!"

Tsunade was next. "Well, haha. Naruto-kun, I think you took the words out of my mouth. So.. thanks everyone. For your votes. And Naruto and Ino, job well done." She smiled and wiped a small tear away as she stepped backwards.

Then Fuku stepped forward. "I want to thank my snacks for being there for me when I was nervous, who knows what would've happened if they weren't there for me? Also, to Ino, you really do look like me. And Naruto, please learn to pee properly? Hehe?" She then joined her fiancé, who kissed her tenderly. This earned an applause from the audience.

"Great, so now that we've got the first category done, would the rest of the winners kindly return to their places so we can continue." The others walked offstage, leaving Lee and Ino at the podium. "So now it's time to announce the next category, yay! This time, the category is 'Best Team'; and the nominees are as follows. Lee, I think it's your turn now." Ino took a step back, and let Lee take over.

"Thank you, Ino." Lee then turned to the audience, held up the sheet of paper and read off it. "So, the nominees are as follows:

Team 7, consisting of Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and led by Hatake Kakashi

Team 8, consisting of Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, and led by Yuhi Kurenai

Team 9, consisting of Tenten, Hyuuga Neji, the great ME, and led by MIGHT GUY!

Team 10, consisting of Akimichi Choji, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino over there, and led by Sarutobi Asuma

and the Legendary Sannin, consisting of Jiraiya-sama, Godaime Senju Tsunade, Orochimaru- who is currently tied to a post-, led by Sandaime Sarutobi Hiruzen.

In case you were wondering, the Akatsuki isn't included. Why? No members can receive their awards for the time being as they are tied to the posts." Lee finished

Ino stepped forward and joined with Lee in unison "Okay, so those are our nominees, and now it's up to the voters to decide who will win the 'Best Team' award! The leader of the group will represent the group and come onstage to receive the award and say a few words for his or her teammates. Remember, people, there isn't a show without your votes, so head to the polls right now! That's all for now!" And the two teens headed backstage as the curtains closed down behind them.

* * *

**Sorry about the horrible acceptance speeches, I was runnning out of ideas. Anyway, please do remember to scroll down to the bottom of the page, fill in your vote in the dialog box and click the 'Review' button. Thank you for all your support and we hope to see you at the next category!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. If you think I could've made this sooner, try waiting a WHOLE day until you can check the results. If you're as impatient as me, it's not that easy. Plus the stress of making sure each trophy is being made perfectly and keeping a certain someone's mouth shut from complaining (Ahem, Lee I'm talking to you.)**


	3. Best Team

"And I-we're back!" Ino announced as she and her fellow host stepped onstage. "The voting session has ended early, and now we're here to announce the 'Best Team'!"

"We got a voter pointing out that the Sand Siblings weren't on the nominees list, and another asking if the Akatsuki will receive an award, and one more asking why Team Taka/Hebi isn't on the list."

"The Sand Siblings are not on the nominees list because they will be in the running for the 'Best Non-Konoha Team' award along with the Ame Orphans, so anyone who wishes to see whether they win the award will have to stay tuned to the show." Ino cleared her throat and continued. "As for the Akatsuki, I already announced that three of them will be in the running for the 'Best Non-Konoha Team, as well as 'Best Bad Guy Group' as a whole."

"Also, if the Akatsuki wins an award, Pain won't receive it. Konan will. She's practically the only one not tied to a post."

"As for Team Taka/Hebi, they too will be in the running for the 'Best Bad Guy Group' group award."

"Anyways, thank you all for your votes, and now here is the winner of the 'Best Team' award." Ino took a look at the results and gasped a little. "I'm a bit surprised here, Lee."

"May I ask you why you're surprised, miss Yamanaka?" Lee said in a seductive voice, which earns him a direct hit in the jaw from Ino. "Baka! I didn't ask for a reply!"

"So.. yeah. The award for 'Best Team' goes to, hihi, TEAM 10!"

As the audience clapped and congratulated Asuma, he came onstage to receive the award for his students. Lee insisted that he give the award to prevent Ino from 'bragging too much in front of the whole Naruto cast'. Then he let Asuma step onto the podium to give a little acceptance speech.

"Wow, Lee. Good one. I'm thanking you for being the one to present me the award because, who knows what kind of vain antics could come out of Ino's mouth at any moment?" the audience laughed while Ino let out a little 'hmph'.

Asmua continued. "Anyways, I want to thank my three students for being so strong and giving their all in training and on the battlefield. Without you we wouldn't have made it as a team, so thank you for your amazing co-operation! And I'd also like to thank you for not disbanding after- this is quite hard to say- I died." Some of the audience shed a tear, "Last but not least, thank you Kurenai for being my girlfriend, and also for being a case study to the three as I demonstrated how to take down a female fighter as Ino didn't want to do it. And thank you for taking care of the baby!" He then walked offstage to the sound of more applause.

"Isn't he a great teacher?" Ino said as she wiped a tear away. "By the way, we won by a landside, and Team 9 not far behind." She didn't mention that the Legendary Sannin hadn't got a single vote, as she didn't want to be murdered onstage by a 'stray' fist from Tsunade's monstrous strength.

"Alright, now a special performer. Let's bring on a round of applause for Haruno Sakura with a song number." The audience applauded as Sakura went up the stage. The podium was cleared and she was given a microphone. The lights focused on her as the music started.

_Kondo wa itsu aeru ka nante_  
_Sonna kaoshite yoku ierutte_  
_Omotteta yo nande darou_  
_Nani mo ki ni naranai FURIshite_  
_Ii wake suru nara kikou sama de_  
_Tsunagatte taikara_

_Mou kao mo mitakunai megurokawazoi_  
_Arienai tenkai odoru KEETAI_  
_GOODBYE MEERU naraba wasuretai_  
_"Hold me tight" but "dokka kietai"_  
_Anytime shaberisugi no KY_  
_Chirari miseru tsuyogari na "I cry"_  
_Namida no kouka wa dore kurai?_

_Watashi na ri ni "ai saretai" afureru no ni kimi ga mienai_  
_Nido to kimi ni aenai sonna ki ga suru n da... _  
_Tsutaetai no ni umai kotoba mietara nai watashi tabun_  
_Uso demo ii no ni "ikanai demo" ienai yo_

_Kushami suru to deru hen na koeto_  
_Kusha kusha ni warau BUSAIKU na kao_  
_Tomaranai ase me wo kosuru kuse_  
_Dou setsu maranai AITSU no tokusei_

_Nitemo nitsukenai futari no SUTAIRU_  
_Muda ni Shy SENSU wa yayanai_  
_Uso tsuku toki no fukumi warai_  
_UZAI tokku ni BAREBARE mendokusai_

_Tamatama kareshi gai nai TAIMINGU de_  
_Hima tsubushi teido no koi tte_  
_Tomodachi ni mo ii wakeshitete_  
_Masaka watashi ga oikaketeru... nande?_

_Tsumaranai JOOKU wa ittsumo kudoku_  
_Douko made mo tsuzuku aki aki na TOOKU_  
_Sono tabi ROKKU kondo wa watashi kara Knock_

_Watashi na ri ni "ai saretai" afureru no ni kimi ga mienai_  
_Nido to kimi ni aenai sonna ki ga suru n da... _  
_Tsutaetai no ni umai kotoba mietara nai watashi tabun_  
_Uso demo ii no ni "ikanai demo" ienai yo_

_Nigitteta te ga hanaretara_  
_Kimi wa itsuka wasurechau no?_  
_Watashi no koto_

_Watashi na ri ni "ai saretai" afureru no ni kimi ga mienai_  
_Nido to kimi ni aenai sonna ki ga suru n da... _  
_Tsutaetai no ni umai kotoba mietara nai watashi tabun_  
_Uso demo ii no ni "ikanai demo" ienai yo_

Sakura finished, stayed for the applause and left the stage after it started to die down. The podium was put back into its proper place and Ino and Lee went back onstage. Lee stepped forward onto the podium.

"Alright, on with the program. For our next category we have 'Favorite Animal'! Voters choose the animal they like the most from the nominees list and whoever gets the most votes wins! Ino, the list?"

"Right here. Our nominees are as follows:

Gamabunta

Pakkun ('Though it might be weird if he receives the trophy of himself')

Katsuyu (-this earns a 'Yeah!' from Tsunade-)

Manda ('Woah, wait. How will he fit in here?' 'You'll see')

Fukasaku (-Jiraiya brags about a twosome-)

Tonton (-Tsunade brags about a twosome, with Jiraiya-)

Orochimaru ('Wait- how did he get on the list?' 'He's no longer considered human')"

"Okay, so that's the nominees list, and now the voting polls are open! So ladies and gentlemen, start voting now! We'll be here to present the award when the results come out, so until then it's bye-bye for now! See you in 24 hours!" And the two hosts headed backstage as the curtains closed.

* * *

**Sorry for the song number. I needed to make the program a bit longer and exciting, so yeah. I'm gonna give a special performer every 2-3 awards given.**

**So what are you waiting for? Start voting for your favorite animal now! You can also suggest nominees that I missed on the list, as long as the animal has a name. I don't want to be presenting an award to 'Shino's insects' or 'Sai's drawings' THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTED! So get those votes in now!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies, which now have to be made animal-proof. Sigh.**


	4. Favorite Animal

The curtains lifted and our two hosts emerged from backstage. "Well, people, it's been 24 hours and we're back to announce the 'Favorite Animal'! This time's category seems to be most popular with the voters, right Ino?"

"Hai, Lee. This has been the highest record of votes for a category so far, but since we've only given out three awards we hope to be able to top that record soon! Make it happen, peoples!"

"Anyway, we've had voters voting for animals that we've missed on the nominees list, since we couldn't include every single creature that appeared on the show since Episode 1 on the list. We got questions about Akamaru, and one wondering about Gamakichi." Ino announced

"We've even had a vote for Orochimaru, but I still have no idea how he got there." Lee scratched the back of his neck

"Well, at least someone remembers Akamaru. They're amazing trackers, you know. I would have voted for them, but unfortunately the hosts don't have a say in this."

"As for Gamakichi, we felt the need that Fukasaku had to be in the list. He made a huge contribution to the war, even sacrificing his beautiful back for it." the audience laughed for a bit, then stared at Jiraiya, who just pulled a 'thumbs up' in response. Lee sighed, then took out a sheet of paper from her pocket. "So people, according to your votes our favorite animal is: Tonton!"

As the audience clapped, a baby pig jumped out of Tsunade's laps and rushed down the aisle while oinking in delight. Tsunade chased after Tonton. It jumped into Ino's arms, which dropped everything to cuddle the little creature. As Ino cooed lovingly, she was suddenly aware of something breathing down her neck and looked up to see Tsunade towering over her, "She's cute, isn't she?"

Ino nodded, then slowly put down the pig and stepped backwards to let Lee set a 'Golden Pakkun' trophy in front of the pig. The pig oinked once, then held the trophy in its mouth and ran offstage, leaving Tsunade to worry, "No Tonton!". She pushed Ino out of the way and chased Tonton, who just returned to her seat.

"Ouch. My neck hurts." The blonde girl stood up and rubbed her neck as she picked up her mike, leaving her fellow host to sigh. "While Ino's sorta recovering, I might as well give you the other results of the poll. We had a few votes for Katsuyu, Akamaru, Gamabunta, and Pakkun, but Tonton was well ahead in the lead. Congratulations to the little pig, and maybe next time we'll think twice about nominating minors who need to be accompanied by Hokage, probably an intimidating one. You okay now, Ino?"

Ino nodded as she straightened up. "So... yeah. Tonton's our favorite animal! And now it's time to reveal the next category! As we mentioned before while presenting the 'Best Team' award, the Akatsuki and Taka/Hebi were not in the nominees list because they were in the running for the 'Best Bad Guy Group' award. So now it's time to vote for 'Best Bad Guy Group', and here are our nominees!

Konan and The Akatsuki ('Like anyone else would win' Pain smirked)

Orochimaru and Kabuto

Sasuke Uchiha and Taka

and.. then again with Orochimaru, this time with the Sound Four

*gulps* Tsunade and Shizune ('Wait, why are we in the 'Best Bad Guy Group' nominees list? We're always good.,' Tsunade pointed out. Shizune patted her shoulder. 'Might be the times when we stole money and ran away, so we do qualify for the award.')

and.. The AU me and AU Neji ('How did they end up in the list?' 'Oh. Sakura explained what happened to them in the Alternate Universe. It seems that Neji was a total perv, and I'm a gay thief.' 'Ouch.')

And that's all our nominees! The polls open now and close in 24 hours, so start voting now!" With that, the two teens walked away as the curtains fell on the stage.

* * *

**Sorry for the shortness. If all the animals talked, we'd get a longer one. Sadly, they didn't. :/**

**I would've voted for Akamaru. Wow, I didn't notice that! Well, what are we waiting for? Let the voting begin!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who dares use them without permission will be sent to the Akatsuki without them being tied to the post. Good luck with those murderers. (Konan: HEY!)**


	5. Best Bad Guy Group

"Welcome back to the Naruto Dattebayo Awards, everybody!" Lee greeted as he and Ino stepped onstage. "The voting session for this category is now closed, and now we're here to announce the winner of the 'Best Bad Guy Group' award!"

"We've had a few votes for each of the nominees on the list, and someone pointing out that ROOT isn't there."

"Well, at least someone remembers." Ino hit Lee in the shoulder.

We have a lot of votes, but this time we have a landslide win to rival that of Tonton in the 'Favorite Animal' award. May we present our winner: the Akatsuki!"

Konan didn't seem to notice anything going on, until Jiraiya tapped her shoulder and reminded her. Surprised, she came onstage to the sound of tumultuous applause, particularly from the Amegakure citizens in the audience. She received her award from Lee, who blushed slightly when he battered her eyelids at him and giggled. From her seat beside Hinata, Sakura crossed her arms and huffed.

Konan stepped forward to the podium and took the mike. "Well, although Pain was pretty confident we would win, I did suspect that Tsunade and Shizune would win instead, owing to their popularity with the good people and the perverts, which until now I still can't understand. But anyway, thank you all for putting your good and perverted preferences aside and choosing us, and they; the members of the Akatsuki tied to the posts; promise to do their best to keep up the bad guy work! I honestly thought Pain would receive the award because he's the leader and I have no affiliation for them anymore, but then Jiraiya-sensei over there told me that I'm supposed to receive the award"

"Uhh... we announced that about two awards ago." Ino whispered from behind her.

"Oh, right! Sorry, I wasn't listening." the audience laughed, "Um.. okay. I'll take this as a reminder of all the regrettable things I've done. Sorry Jiraiya-sensei." Jiraiya just nodded. Signaled, she then stepped backwards and took a bow, who then walked offstage and returned to her seat.

Lee picked up her mike. "Well, there we have our best bad guy group, and now it's time to reveal the next category, but not before you guys from the auditorium are in for a special treat, as we'll have raining potato chips for everybody!" A lever is switched, so then a trap door above the audience opened and out came chips for everybody. "This will be a long rewards show, so we'll keep you munching with potato chips!" Ino then whispered to the audience, "Don't worry. They're not the kinds that made Choji, well, how he is. These are non-fatty chips that taste better than the original! And you won't run out, as you have a small vending machine in front of you! All the messes will be cleaned instantly, we assure that."

"Wait- non-fat chips, right?" Ino asked Lee, in which he nodded in response. "I'll get one backstage." Ino went backstage, leaving Lee there to announce the next category.

"So the next category, is 'Kick-Ass Female'." Lee turned his back, "Ino, hurry up! The list is with you!" Ino came running to the stage with the list and a bag of chips. "The nominees for 'Kick-Ass Female' is as follows:

Haruno Sakura

Hyuuga Hinata (-A voice came from the audience 'BUT SHE'S TOO SHY AND FRAGILE!' Ino ignored this and went on-)

Temari of the Sand

Uhh... ME! (-facepalms from the audience-)

Senju Tsunade (-this earns a 'Yeah!' from Tsunade-)

and Konan of the Rain (-she is still very unaware about this-)

"That's right people, now is the time to unleash the ninja in you! Choose among the nominees and pick the one who is the strongest! For example, if you like flowers as a strength, then your best choice would be yours truly!"

"Thanks for the statement, Ino. I'm sure the voters will know who they should pick. So anyway, voting begins now and ends in 24 hours, so get those votes in now! Until next time, folks!" And the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed.

'**Kick-Ass Female', huh? Sounds interesting, no? Well then, let the voting begin! *munches on chips***

**Sorry for the chips part, I'm actually eating one right now heh heh. And also for the shortness. I can't put up some special performer right now as Hinata (who; surprisingly; sounds like Ariana Grande) is too shy to perform. Convince her? Heh heh?.**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of the deadly Akatsuki, NOT TIE TO THE POSTS. You have been warned. (Konan: HEY!)**


	6. Kick-Ass Female

The curtains lifted and our two hosts stepped out again. "Well, it's been 24 hours and we have our 'Kick-Ass Female' winner! Uhhh... Ino? Get that grin off your face. It's not like you're gonna win. Most likely, Tsunade-sama over there will." A round of applause rang around the auditorium. Tsunade changed her posture uprightly, as she is confident she will win. Hell, one of the hosts even support her, so why would she give a damn?

"Anyways, we have lots' of voters for this category. A few even asked why Kushina Uzumaki and Mizukage Mei wasn't in the list."

"Well, we had to exclude Mrs. Namikaze from the list. If she were there, she'd win by a landslide, and people _like me_ won't be given a chance." Ino pouted, Lee rolled his eyes. "As for Mizukage Mei, she is in the running for the 'Best Fighter' award for BOTH genders; talk about challenge; and also for 'Favorite Kage' and also for other awards undetermined."

"How were you able to know, Lee?"

"The next three awards are always revealed, to a certain host." Ino punched him in the temple, "MORE LIKE YOU SPIED ON THE PRODUCERS!"

"Sometimes I even wonder why I accepted the job with_ Ino_ as my fellow host." Lee rubbed his temple, "Also, special shoutout to **Jashinista** for the category suggestion, as well as a few other categories we may intend to use. Thanks a lot." Lee gave the results to Ino, and took a step from the podium while crossing his fingers, hoping that Ino WON'T win.

Ino kept her grin and her chin high and pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and went straight on without looking at it. "The winner will probably be me, but I have to say, I am kind of nervous. Hahaa." Ino opened the envelope and pulled out the sheet of paper. Her eyes widened and then she squealed in delight. "Looks like I'll get to keep the award after all!" Hearing this, Lee fainted. While a round of applause was given around the auditorium, Ino took the trophy from the now-unconscious Lee's hand, and stepped back onto the podium.

"Told you I was gonna win it!" Ino grinned with the trophy in one hand. Lee finally regained his consciousness. "Well folks, I am sincerely honored (stop coughing, Lee) to be chosen as your 'Kick-Ass Female' winner, and I'm also grateful to receive my third award, and; by far; there's only been five awards announced! And I would like to inform everyone out there that I won't stop my training! I will surpass Tsunade-sama, right?" Tsunade just shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't happy nor angry.

"Also, thank you everyone for your votes. This third awards means a lot to me." Ino squealed again, "Back to you, Lee!"

"Ahem, thank you for that none-too-modest speech, Miss Yamanaka. Now, seeing as I'm threatened with a 'Golden Pakkun' trophy to the head by our latest award winner if I don't proceed, I'll just announce the other results of the votes."

"Who came in second place?"

Ino kept grinning. Lee's already-wide eyes widened. "Don't tell me…"

"You got it! Coming in second place for 'Kick-Ass Female' is no other than my best friend, Hyuuga Hinata! Of course, we all knew I would get first place, or else the whole Naruto fandom would collapse, but I was worried Sakura would be the runner-up! Turns out some people still love blonde girls like me after all!" A 'HEY!' came from the audience. None other than Tsunade herself.

"If you're talking about Hinata, she is really too shy." Ignoring the blonde girl's glace, Ino continued talking into her mike. "Well, Sakura-san did come in third place, so that's good news for the AU Konohagakure Sakura Haruno fan club at least." The group of little girls in the middle row waved their 'We Love Sakura-san!' banners enthusiastically. "So anyway, it's now time to reveal the next category! Lee?"

"Got it right here, Ino." Lee glanced at his sheet of paper. Ino then stepped backwards with Lee smirking to himself. "I am so gonna win this…" Lee cleared his throat and continued, "This time the votes are for 'Kick-Ass Male', and our nominees are as follows:

Uchiha Sasuke ('Wait, is he even here?' 'We'll see.')

Minato Namikaze ('OMG him? Oh this is getting too hard.' 'Ino, shut up.')

*wide eyes* ME! ('Now who needs to get the grin off his face?' 'Ino, I said shut up.')

Hyuuga Neji ('I still don't know if he can make it IF EVER onstage' 'You seriously think he's blind?' 'Yeah, so?' -facepalm-)

Gaara of the Sand ('Seriously, producers?' 'Ino, you don't have a say in this. He's pretty much powerful considering he's a kage.' -WHACK!-)

and Jiraiya-sama ('The frog dude?' 'SHUT THE FUCK UP INO!'_ a series of 'Ooooh burn' and 'OMG he sweared' circle around the audience_, WHACK!)

"Getting hit by your fellow host two times in less than five minutes. That's annoying." Lee earns another punch from Ino, seeing no major harm, she leaves him alone and continues for him, "So folks, those are our nominees, and now the voting time is now ongoing! Don't forget to get in your votes ASAP as voting ends in 24 hours! We'll be here to give out the award, so until then it's goodbye for now! See you in 24 hours! And Lee, in the name of the spirits STOP GRINNING!" And so the two hosts left the stage as the curtains fell, the boy still annoying his fellow host with his wide grin. Backstage, people could hear a-

_WHACK!_

**Well, I think everyone knows why I excluded Naruto from the list. Aside from that, I know ****Ino really does deserves that award. As for you people, what are you waiting for? Start voting now!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission is in danger of receiving a trophy to the head courtesy of our 'Kick-Ass Female' winner. Don't say I didn't warn you.**


	7. Kick-Ass Male

The curtains lifted and our two hosts stepped out from backstage, the green one wearing a big grin on his face. His fellow host stared at him for a second. "Um, Lee? That grin of yours is kind of freaking me out, and even Orochimaru's here but he's not freaking me out like you are."

"It's not like you won more than one award anyway." Lee got a hit from Ino straight in the jaw. "BAKA! I did! And besides, you haven't won any award AT ALL."

Lee got up and got an ice pack from his pocket (he's prepared), "How do you think I felt when you were grinning all the more in the last award?"

"Not as freaked out as me. That grin of yours is so big, even I can feel it miles away. Also, I don't think you'd ever surpass my freak level. I'm too pretty that even my widest grin won't ever be tolerated (stop coughing Lee). What's got you in such a happy mood today?"

"You'll see, my dear, you'll see."

"I think I already know." Ino then turned to face the audience. "Well people, we're back to announce the winner of our latest category 'Kick-Ass Male', and boy did we have some drama back at the voting polls. We've got someone pointing out Naruto and when he will receive an award.

"Well.. Ino, the producers, and I thought you'd know why Naruto was excluded."

"Simply because he'll win by a landslide, as would his mom if we put her in the previous category."

"But hey! We've got a surprise for all of you in the Naruto Uzumaki fandom in the next category." this earns an applause from everyone in the auditorium, Naruto; proud as ever; stood up and bowed. Sakura motioned for him to sit back down, and so he did.

"Anyhow, other than that it's been a most successful voting session, and now we have a winner! Lee, care to do the honors?"

"Why thank you, Ino-chan." The green boy grinned, then took out an envelope from his pocket and cleared his throat. "The winner of the 'Kick-Ass Male' is...!" Lee opened the envelope and looked at the paper, in which his eyes watered. "Ino, I'll have you read this to the audience while I go backstage and cry." Lee threw the envelope to Ino and ran for the backstage leaving her wearing a pokerface.

Ino took a step forward to the podium, "Wow. That was a dead giveaway, but hey. I don't think you guys expected him to win at all, did you?" The entire audience sheepishly shook their heads, clearly stating 'no'.

"So... yeah. The pleasure of announcing it is all mine." Ino re-opened the envelope and read the results. "The winner of 'Kick-Ass Male' is: Yondaime Namikaze Minato!"

As the audience erupted in applause, again with most of the cheering from the Konohagakure citizens, the Fourth Hokage stepped onstage to receive his award. He then stood at the podium with his 'Golden Pakkun' trophy in one hand, not sure what to say. Finally he took a deep breath and picked up the mike.

"Um, I guess I should thank the voters for picking me. Honest to say, I don't really know why I've been the kick-ass male character among the fanbase aside from my son, ever since the show started. I honestly thought it would be crybaby over there, who I'm guessing pretty much depended on the title of.. 'host' for all of his votes. But then again, I don't know the real results of the voting." Ino stepped forward and showed him the results, which made Minato raise his brow. "Makes sense.". Ino stepped off the podium and let him continue his speech.

Even so, I thank you for all your votes, and also thank you Jiraiya-sama for the exceptional training and for always believing in me, and also for Kakashi-otokonoko***** for taking care of the kid. As for you, Kushina, I couldn't have done it without you." He then returned to his seat beside his wife, who surprised him by softly kissing him on the cheek. Wearing a bemused but happy expression on his face, he settled down and turned his attention back to the stage.

"I think I should announce the other results of the votes. So, coming in second place is the winner's own sensei; Jiraiya-sama, then in third comes Sasuke; who is still not here, and then with Neji and Gaara tying for fourth, and- I said enough." Ino finished. From backstage, they heard a loud wail come from backstage. "I HAD NO VOTES!". Everyone in the auditorium fell silent, albeit some chuckling silently in their seats. Promptly, Lee went back to the stage, wiping his tears away. He heard people shout out 'crybaby' from the audience, which in return he yelled. "YOU GUYS PROBABLY WON'T RECEIVE AWARDS AT ALL!". The audience completely fell silent. "Lee, would you like to continue for me?"

"Ehh.. sure thing." Ino stepped off the podium and let Lee take over, "The next category will be 'Best Fighter', this category depends on the character's taijutsu skills. The nominees are as follows:

Mizukage Terumi Mei ('Who is she again?' 'Uh... Ino? Seriously?')

MIGHT GUY! ('Good for you')

Hokage Senju Tsunade

Hyuuga Neji ('I thought this was an award for taijutsu, not doujutsu' 'His taijutsu skills are pretty impressive, Ino. You should know that.')

and ME! ('Lee, it was pretty obvious you'd be nominated.' 'Well, I didn't know.')"

"So, yeah. Those are our nominees for 'Best Fighter'. Remember, if you know who has the best taijutsu out of all the nominees in this category, then the 'Best Fighter' will be yours truly!"

"Hey, that's my line! But of course, I don't think you'll win because you're too narcissistic and there's still Tsunade-sama, and basically people who can beat you through the award. And seeing as I'm threatened with a fist now even if I'm a girl, I think I've said enough."

"I'm glad you did."

"But then I'm too pretty, so probably people will start voting for me even though for some reason I wasn't nominated. I've seen voters like that these days."

"Ahem, thank you Ino, you already told us that during every award you've been nominated on so far. I suppose this makes you a narcissist as well?"

"Of course not, I actually had valid reasons for loving myself. Anyway, voting begins right now and ends in 24 hours, so if you want to see your favorite fighter win an award for his or her amazing skills start voting now! Ino and Lee signing out!"

"Again with the 'Ino and Lee' thing, I thought we already agreed on 'Lee and Ino'?"

"I agreed to no such thing, although I did say I would kick you off the show and put Pain in your place if you brought it up again."

"Alright fine, I'll shut up." And so the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed behind them.

* * *

**Wow, 'Best Fighter' will be a tough choice, won't it? And don't worry about the other jutsu-using shinobis of Naruto, the 'Best Jutsu-Using Shinobi' award is coming right after this so you can vote for your favorite jutsu-using then. I'm thinking of adding a 'Favorite Jutsu' award as well, so if you don't want to miss the fun then do stay tuned! And don't forget to vote!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will be hit by Lee, even if you're a girl. I'm not kidding, you've almost seen that happen with Ino.**


	8. Best Fighter

The curtains lifted and our two hosts stepped out again. "Well, it's been 24 hours and we have our 'Best Fighter' winner! Lee, uhh... stop grinning, it's a dead giveaway."

"Sure, Ino," Lee replied, but the grin stayed. "We've had a bunch of votes for both of the girl power-promoting Kages, and also a couple of votes for Neji, but only one shinobi got the prize. Ino, if you may?"

"I wonder why I still have to announce this." Ino pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and didn't look at it as if she already knows the answer (well, she does) "The winner of the 'Best Fighter', as shown by our Sir Smiley here, is none other than Rock Lee!"

"Told you I was gonna win this in a landslide!" Lee grinned smugly as he received his 'Golden Pakkun' trophy from his fellow host. "Well folks, I admit I thought I was done for when Gaara-san crushed my arm and leg; and especially when Tsunade-sama told me I might die if I undergo the surgery, but then someone gave me the confidence that I will live on after it and become a better ninja. The thing is, a lot of objects and definitely people can break my bones, and maybe dismember me for life, it doesn't mean you'll lose hope completely. Guy-sensei told me that life is short, so I'll have to live while I'm young (shoutout to all directioners around here!). So yeah, that experience definitely made me a better person and, let's face it. No one lives forever so do whatever POSITIVE thing you want right now because you'll never know what happens the next day, and for that, I promise to continue with my training. Whatever talent you have, hone it. Whether it's a flute or something, go with it. Live your dream and your life to the fullest. Thank you." The green boy stepped aside to let Ino take over.

"Wow, never thought I'd see the day Lee give a motivational speech."

"Don't get used to it, buddy. And by the way, let me remind you that I'm also awesome at taijutsu and I'm learning ninjutsu, but I'm not sure if this is correct." Lee stepped off the podium to demonstrate, "Bunshin no Jutsu!"

The entire audience burst in laughter, Lee looked beside him and gasped. It was identical to the one of Naruto's during the academy days.

"Eeeeuurrghh! Okay, can someone please discard of that and we'll announce the other results of the vote?" In an instant, the clone disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Alright, I'll let you announce this one." Ino stepped aside to let Lee announce the next category. Lee stepped forward and cleared his throat,

"It was trouble alright back there in the voting polls. People are asking for Sasuke, Sakura; and for one instance, someone impromptu-voted Itachi. Anyways; because of your high demand; we counted your vote, whoever you are."

Lee continued, "Also, let me just say that my own Guy-sensei came up for second place. I'm proud of you."

"And your well-known rival; Neji; came in third. I'm proud of you, too, Neji!" Feeling intimidated by her fellow host, Ino stepped off the podium. "I think I should let you have this one." Lee just smirked and announced, "So; as promised; here's your next special performer: Uzumaki Naruto and Choji Akimichi, who surprisingly is pretty good at rapping." The audience applauded, as Naruto and Choji went up the stage. As usual, the stage was cleared, and the two were given microphones. Suddenly, the music started.

_Tooku de kikoeru koe wo hitori_  
_Hitori mata hitori de chi agaru toushi_  
_Kurikaesu dake no fudan doori_  
_Kutsu ga iku junbi ii ze, ARE YOU READY?_

_Karadajuu furuwazu shinzou ni_  
_Hageshiku chinarase yo STOMPING_  
_Taeru tsuki wo ukasu CALL ME_  
_Kawarisugiru ga nuki ka STORY_

_COME ON! EVERYBODY STAND UP! _  
_Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da_  
_Me ni mo tomoran no SUPIIDO HANTA_  
_Dare mo nobinattori ko kanba YEAH_

_COME ON! EVERYBODY HANDS UP! _  
_Mata ashita no HERO'S wa COMEBACK_  
_Tsuujou kazoe hibi wo COUNTDOWN_  
_Iku ze, 3-2-1 MAKE SOME NOISE! _

_HEY yo mou basho nori tsuku wa kakugo desho_  
_Nankai korondatte tatsu GET OT ON_  
_Nade aida naze kami hito e no seisho_  
_Irikunda kanjou kizuki ageta desho_

_Mochiagaru kansei ga yuuki to naru_  
_Tashiagareba ima kurushimi tomonau_  
_Sore demo saikou wa kitto aru_  
_Subete sarau to shouri no kansei_

_EVERYBODY STAND UP! _  
_Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da_  
_Me ni mo tomoran no SUPIIDO HANTA_  
_Dare mo nobinattori ko kanba YEAH_

_COME ON! EVERYBODY HANDS UP! _  
_Mata ashita no HERO'S wa COMEBACK_  
_Tsuujou kazoe hibi wo COUNTDOWN_  
_Iku ze, 3-2-1 MAKE SOME NOISE!_

They finally finished, the audience applauded hard, not knowing that Naruto was actually good at singing. They stepped off the stage and returned to their seats as Ino and Lee went back on stage. The podium was placed back on it's proper spot. Ino stayed beside the podium while Lee stepped on the podium and spoke, "Okay, it's time to announce the next category. Since there's 'Best Fighter', the next category is 'Best Fight', and the nominees are as follows:

Sasuke vs Naruto ('But then Sasuke's not here!' 'I don't know. Maybe he'll just pop out of nowhere or something.')

Sasuke vs Itachi ('Ooooh burn!' 'Shut up, Ino.')

Naruto vs Pain ('But then Pain won't be there to accept the award with Naruto' 'No Pain, no problem')

Minato vs Tobi and Kyuubi ('Though it's too painful to imagine that it was the very battle that killed Naruto's father' 'Ino-teme, shut up'_ WHACK!_)

Naruto and Iruka vs Mizuki ('The very fight that started it all' 'Yep')

Tsunade, Jiraiya, Naruto, and Shizune vs Orochimaru and Kabuto ('Woah, wait. That's too much. I don't think there will be enough trophies for them if ever.' 'Remember the first award? Well, there's this thing called... ')

and Me vs Gaara ('Aw. Poor you.' 'Shut up.')

"Wait, I think you rigged everything just to earn a spot on the nominees list!" Ino accused Lee, in which Lee just shrugged him shoulders. "I know nothing."

Ino finally got pissed enough to hit Lee again, "BAKA! I GUESS EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW YOU STALK THE PRODUCERS!"

Lee rubbed his sore cheek, "And so yeah. Voting begins right now and the polls don't close until 24 hours later, so until then keep those votes coming! Til next time, folks!" And the two hosts left the stage as the curtains fell.

* * *

**Sorry if some characters tend to get a little OOC. I'm running out of ideas on how Ino will hit Lee.**

**Also, I'm sorry for the intermission number, but it was promised. Heh heh.**

'**Best Fight' was actually a category suggested by one of the voters before. Thanks Jashinista for the category suggestions, as well as NATSUxERZA 123456 and noriko-chan for their own suggestions. I'm starting to run out of category ideas soon, so if you have any category suggestions I'd love to hear them! And ****don't forget to vote!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of Rock Lee, the taijutsu practitioner who takes dares with his sensei, drinks tea and stalks Sakura _while_ she stalks Naruto _while_ he stalks Jiraiya _while _he stalks ladies at the Hot Springs at the same time. Be afraid, be **_**very **_**afraid.**


	9. Best Fight

"And we're back for the 'Best Fight' award!" Lee called out as he and his fellow host stepped out from backstage. "Well, it was supposed to be the 'Best Fight' award, but it somehow morphed into 'Fight for your favorite nominee'. But don't worry, we're still gonna give this 'Golden Pakkun' trophy to someone, since nobody said you can't have a favorite nominee."

"We've got a variety of votes for different scenes in the series, from Sakura and I- wait. Were we even nominated?

"Nope, somebody just stray-voted for you, but hey. Whoever you are there, we counted your vote too!" Lee winked at the screen, Ino just rolled her eyes.

"Gosh, Lee. You're so girly. Anyways, we also have votes for Yondaime-sama with the fight that killed him ('Ouch'), Sasuke and his brother, and one of my personal favorites: The Big Three Fight."

"Um... sudden interest in your master?" Ino hit him in the jaw, "BAKA! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DON'T OBSESS OVER GUY-SENSEI!"

"Uhh... hehe.. no?" Everyone in the audience suddenly started laughing, Lee looked behind him and shrieked in embarrassment. On the screen was a picture of Lee's room, with posters of his Guy-sensei in every corner of the room. "TURN THAT OFF! TURN THAT OFF!"

"Turn it off, I'm getting bored of the Lee jokes." The screen went back to it's proper display; the logo of the Naruto Dattebayo Awards (A/N: It's the Naruto logo but it's all in gold). Lee jumped in glee until Ino hit him once again, "I didn't say it was a promise! So, STOP DANCING!"

"I already told you I was not dancing, but you just won't believe me," Ino just shrugged. "Well, it did feel like dancing, so I don't see the difference."

"But the two top contenders in the voting polls are Lee and Gaara with their battle at the Chuunin Exams and Naruto and Pain's fight. Someone did vote for 'the fight between Naruto and Hinata vs Pain', but since it's actually supposed to be an showdown between Naruto and Pain only we decided to drop Hinata out of the list. Don't worry though, you Hinata fans are in for a surprise in the next category."

"So, yeah. In the end, there can only be one winner though, and we are proud to present the 'Best Fight' award to: Naruto vs Pain!"

"But then Pain won't be receiving the award, so we'd like to have someone closest to him to receive the award." Konan wasn't aware of anything at all, so she just sat there until she realized that everyone was calling her name. She raised her hand to call the attention of the hosts, "Me?"

"Well, I guess so. Come on up here. You too, Naruto!" Naruto already fell asleep on his seat waiting to receive an award. Kushina, who was beside him, woke him up. "Uhh... what?" Kushina pointed to the stage, where Ino and Lee were motioning them to come onstage. He stood up, fiddled with his forehead protector (they weren't required but he insisted), and went onstage. Konan followed shortly. When both were finally onstage, they went to receive the awards from the two hosts. Naruto then stepped forward towards the podium and took the mike.

"Well, I have to admit he wasn't in top form during the fight, he explained everything. Otherwise, Pain probably won't be receiving the award today. But then again, I don't fully understand why I'm receiving _his_ award, thank you very much. So I'll now pass the mike to Naruto."

Naruto stood there for a mere few seconds, unsure of what to say since he lost all plans for an acceptance speech during the first award and also while sleeping. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak. "Well, since this is my second award, and I've said my thanks to a lot of people. Knowing that the others who received more than one award already repeatedly said thanks already to the same people, I was thinking maybe I shouldn't say too much. Especially that I'm not sure if I want to thank people for a fight. But then, there are people I should thank, like Hinata for... 'dying', and Jiraiya for the training and helping me learn new moves that I would eventually use to defeat Pain. And for those who wouldn't stop supporting me, and that includes the fan clubs in the other world, thank you for all the help. I couldn't have done it without you." He then left the stage with the Amegakure leader, the two still bickering about the award until they went their separate ways returning to their seats.

Ino stepped forward to the podium, "Wow, we got two acceptance speeches and a glimpse of NaruKonan or something moment at the same time. Nice. The ship is not canon, but still. Nice. Anyway, let's announce the other results of the vote."

"Coming in second is Lee vs Gaara (Remember, Lee. He broke your leg) with the fight AND the scary leg crushing scene, and coming in third is Sasuke vs Naruto. But then again, he is still not here."

"I wonder what's taking him so long." Lee said while leaning against the podium

"Alright, moving on to the next award. It's now time to reveal the next category! This time you voters will love the treat we've got for you, Lee?"

"Got it right here, Ino." Lee glanced at his sheet of paper. "Our next category is 'Most Suitable Girlfriend Material'! Good news for the guys and lesbians, and bad news for the rest of the voters. But don't fret, because you can still vote even if you're a chick! Just imagine writing an OC to pair with the guy of your dreams, and then vote for the female character that's most like the OC! The nominees, Ino?"

"Alright. We're only asking you to vote for the girl members of the Konoha 11, such as...

Hyuuga Hinata

Me! ('Stop coughing, Lee')

and Haruno Sakura (Lee pulls out his wifi phone and begins to write a vote for Sakura, until Ino possesed the phone and turned it off effectively for two hours, 'Lee, you're not allowed to vote!')"

"So basically, our nominees are members of the Konoha 11. Remember! Our show is continued as long as the votes keep coming! So start voting now, because we really want to hear from you! And that's all for today!" The two hosts then stepped backstage with the blonde girl smirking to herself. "I am so gonna win this…"

"Hey, that's my line!" The people from the audience heard an angry Ino burning up backstage and Lee cursing himself for what he said, followed by a..

_WHACK!_

* * *

**I know, I know, about 90% of you voters are girls, but just take Lee's advice and vote for someone, okay? Voting starts right this minute and ends 24 hours later, so until then get those votes in quick! See you at the next award!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission ****will have to beware of the deadly Akatsuki. They may not get along with each other well, but when you're caught in one of their quarrels or fights the outcome is never pretty.**


	10. Most Suitable Girlfriend Material

The curtains lifted and our two hosts stepped out again. "We've been through 24 hours and now we have our 'Most Suitable Girlfriend Material' winner! Uhh... Could we; hosts; ever stop with the grinning, Ino?."

"Oh, yeah. Um.. sure, Lee." Ino replied, but then replaced the large grin with a softer smile. "You could never stop giving such dead giveaways, but... yeah. This one's better."

Ino cleared her throat and continued, "We've had a bunch of votes for the girls of Konoha 11, and also a vote for Tenten; given we forgot about her. To the two voters who pointed this out, we counted your original votes, and added two additional votes for Tenten to make up for this."

Ino paused to reapply her lipstick while Lee took this oppurtunity to speak. "But hey, all you Tenten fans! Don't worry, because she is up and running for Best Weapon Wielder and other categories have yet to be revealed, and as I see I am threatened with a fist for spying on the producers again as well as interrupting on her, I'm gonna let Ino continue this."

"Thank you, Lee. So; as I said earlier; we've had a bunch o votes for the girls of Konoha 11, but only one girl got the prize. Lee, if you may?"

"I wonder why I still have to announce this." Lee pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, burned it using really basic academy ninjutsu; much to the surprise of the audience; and went on as if the answer was totally obvious (but it is). "The winner of the 'Most Suitable Girlfriend Material' is none other than Miss Yamanaka!"

"I knew I was gonna win by a landslide!" Ino grinned as she accepted the 'Golden Pakkun' trophy from her fellow host. She then stepped forward with the trophy in one hand. "To my dearies, I had no doubt that I was going to win, hahaa. It's my pleasure (please stop coughing, Sokka) to be chosen as your 'Most Suitable Girlfriend Material' winner, and I would like to inform all the guys out there that I'm still available! Yes, I'm not dating Stickamaru or Fatass (Chouji) or Taijitzy (Lee) or Blind Dude (Neji) or Ero-baka (Naruto) or Bug dude (Shino) or Sasuke-kun or anyone else fanfiction pairs me with! So for all you single hunks out there, there's a 'Most Suitable Girlfriend Material' winner waiting for you! Interested parties can come to the Yamanaka flower shop and ask for Miss Yamanaka. Back to you, Lee."

"Alright. I'll count on that, Ino." Lee went to search for Ino's flower shop using the GPS in the phone until Ino hit him with the 'Golden Pakkun' trophy, "BAKA! You're not the kind of hunk I was asking for!"

"OMG SHE CALLED ME HUNK!" Lee cleared his throat, "Now, seeing as I'm threatened with a 'Golden Pakkun' trophy to the head by our latest award winner for the second time today if I don't proceed, I'll just go over the other results of the votes. It was a tough competition between Hinata and Ino, so sorry Ino but you didn't win by a landslide." Ino raised the 'Golden Pakkun' trophy, and prepared to hit Lee. "Now I see that I will be hit by a 'Golden Pakkun', I will just- OW!" Lee backed away from the podium, pulling out another ice pack as he knew this was going to happen.

"I will just announce the next category now. As we have a 'Most Suitable Girlfriend Material', our next category is 'Most Suitable Boyfriend Material'. The nominees are as follows"

Uzumaki Naruto ('He has a fanbase. He'll most likely win.' 'Shut up, Lee.')

Uchiha Sasuke ('HE'S TOTALLY GONNA WIN!' 'Yeah, if he gets here.' _WHACK!_)

*ahem* Rock Lee ('Thank you, everyone!' 'Lee, you didn't win yet.')

Hyuuga Neji

Akimichi Chouji ('Fatass.' 'For once, I agree with you.')

Sai ('Why is he here?' 'Oh, nothing. He's just a member of THE KONOHA 11')

Nara Shikamaru

and Aburame Shino ('You know what freaks me out is that he carries bugs with him everywhere' 'Gee, Lee. I'm quite surprised you didn't knwo that from the beginning.')

Lee stepped forward again, "That's right female voters, now is the time to unleash the fangirl in you! Choose among the male characters in the Naruto cast and pick the one who is most like your ideal boyfriend! For example, if you like strong guys with a talent for taijutsu AND ninjutsu, then your best choice would be yours truly!" Ino punched him again, "BAKA! That describing thing was my line and YOU HAVE NO TALENT FOR NINJUTSU AT ALL!"

"NO TALENT? Psssh. Yeah right. I will show you." Lee walked to a part of the stage and made some hand symbols, Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!". Everyone started laughing. Lee looked beside him and shrieked.

"Hey, kid. I have no idea why I'm here. Bark bark." Instead of a copy of hiself, he summoned Pakkun there right beside him. Pakkun, being the way he is, poofed himself back to his seat beside Kakashi.

Ino began to laugh uncontrollably. "See? NO TALENT!".

Lee walked back to the podium, "Alright. Ouch, Ino. You'll never know what I will be capable of in the future. So, if you're a male voter, then just imagine writing an OC to pair with the girl of your dreams, and then vote for the male character that's most like the OC!"

"Uh... yeah, Lee. I'm sure the voters know what they're doing. So anyway, voting begins now and ends in 24 hours, so get those votes in now! Until 24 hours, folks!" And the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed.

* * *

**So.. yeah. I know there are male voters around here somewhere, but just take Lee's advice and vote for someone? Please? Just vote, okay? Voting starts right this minute and ends 24 hours later, so until then get those votes in quick! See you at the next award!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission with be accused of being a Ino stalker and handed over to her other best friend; Tenten; for knife-throwing target practice. Last time I checked, her aiming is 100% precise and just as deadly.**


	11. Most Suitable Boyfriend Material

**A/N: Please don't vote more than three (3) times. It complicates the process in counting the votes and I swear I had to repeat that about 5-6 times. You know who you are. From now on, the limit is two (2) and you can't vote for the same person for more than one time. I hope you guys read this because this is very important. I don't want to see it happen again.**

* * *

The curtains lifted and our two hosts stepped out from backstage, the green one quieter than usual "Um, Lee? Are you okay? The lack of... 'youthfulness' is sorta freaking me out."

"It's nothing." Lee sighed, Ino got some of her healing chakra, and held out her hand to his head. "Nope, no mental disease, but I think I already know."

Ino then turned to face the audience. "We're back to announce the winner of our latest category 'Most Suitable Boyfriend Material', and boy did we have some more drama back at the voting polls. We've got votes for a wide variety of characters from Sasuke to Shikamaru, and even to the blind dude (Neji.) over there. Of course, we did run into a few problems with cheaters and over fangirls (Ahem you know who you are), but other than that it's been a most successful voting session, and now we have a winner! Lee, care to do the honors?"

"Whatever you say." Lee took out a sheet of paper from his pocket and cleared his throat. "The winner of the 'Most Suitable Boyfriend Material' is..." Lee paused to sigh, "The title character, Uzumaki Naruto."

As the audience erupted in applause, the Golden Boy stepped onstage to receive his award. He then stood at the podium with his 'Golden Pakkun' trophy in one hand; like last time; unsure what to say. Finally he picked up the mike.

"Um, I guess I should thank the voters for picking me. Also, for the third award. I really appreciate it, I really do. But to be honest with you, I thought Sasuke would be picked, relying on his popularity with the fangirls. Also, most people think that I'm just gonna act like a kid once I got up here, but... I don't think I plan on doing that." Naruto paused to yawn, "I'm really sleepy right now. But even so, I thank you for all your votes, and also thank you Hinata for being my girlfriend and being so forgiving of my popularity. You know you're the only girl for me." He then left the stage to return to his seat beside his mom and dad, and then got into a sleeping position.

Ino looked at her fellow host. Lee seemed to have not smiled the whole time. "Guess who didn't get any votes?"

The blonde girl's eyes widened. "I think I already know" Ino turned her attention back to the audience, "Coming in second place for 'Most Suitable Boyfriend Material' is no other than the one and only Sasuke-kun! Of course, we all knew Naruto would get first place, or couse because he's the title character, but I was worried Lee would be the runner-up! I guess some people still love emo boys, like Sasuke for instance, teehee!"

"Alright. But then you know if he did get the award, he's still not here, right?" Ignoring Ino's glare, Lee (finally) put a smile on and continued to speak. "So anyway, it's now time to reveal the next category! This time the votes are for 'Best Paternal Figure', and our nominees are as follows:"

Nara Shikaku

Namikaze Minato (Naruto was a bit conscious to realize his father was nominated, 'Dad! You were nominated!' But then; like father and son; he was still asleep. Naruto eventually fell asleep, too.)

The florist ('Ahem, Lee. MY DAD.' 'Ino, these are die-hard fans of Naruto. I'm pretty sure they know who is who.')

Sarutobi Hiruzen ('Him? He's a father?' 'Your sensei's his son.')

Sarutobi Asuma ('Well he was supposed to raise Kurenai-sensei's kid over there' 'I can see that.')

Jiraiya ('He counts?' 'Yeah. He practically raised Naruto and his father.')

Uchiha Fugaku ('Ironically, Sasuke-kun's not here.' 'Shut up, Ino. I know you just want to ask Sasuke's dad for an arranged marraige with Sasuke.' _WHACK!_)

and Guy-sensei ('Let me guess, he practically raised you.' 'Yes.')

Ino stepped forward again "So folks, those are our nominees, and now the voting polls are open! Don't forget to get in your votes ASAP as voting ends in 24 hours! We'll be here to give out the award, so until then it's goodbye for now! See you in 24 hours! And Lee, you were not even nominated so, in the name of Kami, STOP GRINNING!"

"But... Guy-sensei was! I should be happy for him!"

"Yeah, happy. BUT NOT LIKE _YOU_ ARE THE ONE THAT WAS NOMINATED!"

"A man can dream." For the first time today, Ino punched Lee in the face. "BAKA! You're not a man at all! BARELY EVEN A BOY! And so the two hosts left the stage as the curtains fell, the shorter one still annoying her fellow host with her wide grin. People could hear the sound of Ino getting pissed off, followed by yet another-

_WHACK!_

* * *

**Yep. The 'WHACK!' thing is becoming a recurring joke. I can't help it. I'd probably do the same thing if my gay friend and I were to ones there, but then again you don't know them.**

**So... Best Paternal Figure, huh? Yeah. I admit I think I missed some. I'm not sure, but yeah.**

******Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission is in danger of being hit by a 'stray' Rasengan from a cranky, newly-awoken Naruto (he's still asleep, but I know how to do a lot of things). Trust me, you don't like it when you wake him up too early.**


	12. Best Paternal Figure

**O.O I went somewhere yesterday and I totally forgot about the awards. I'm so sorry for the wait. I hope you guys are not mad at me or anything? To make up for it, fic requests? Heeeh? (Please, no lemon)**

**So... I just read the votes and found 2 hate comments on it from the same person.**

**OMG. Okay, I had some flames in the other categories, too. Honest to say, it's kinda helping me improve my writing and become a better author. I'd hate to say this but I love my haters. XD**

**Anyhoo, back to the show!**

* * *

As the curtains unfolded to reveal the stage, our two hosts stepped out to the podium. "Well folks, I have two good news to present to you after 24 hours: 1) we have our 'Best Paternal Figure' winner and 2) I finally got the grin off Lee's face!"

"Well, you were threatening to remove all of Guy-sensei's votes if I didn't, and I had been under orders from Hokage-sama to not use any form of taijutsu against girls, so I had to stop. You should consider yourselves lucky, because if it weren't for that order you would have been torn from limb to limb and crushed to bits. That'll teach you to mess with my sensei." A round of applause sounded around the auditorium, meant for either Might Guy or Tsunade.

"Um, okay, moving on," Ino cleared her throat nervously, as Lee could be as menacing as Tsunade-sama if she wanted to. "We've had votes for each of the nominees for the 'Best Paternal Figure' award, and I personally thank those who voted for my dad. I for one think he's the best dad in the world." From his seat in the audience, Inoichi secretly wiped away a tear as his wife laid a hand on his shoulder.

"We've had a voter for Guy-sensei sort of asking about all of the nominees are dead save for Guy-sensei," Lee said. "Well, this awards ceremony doesn't happen in the Naruto universe, it's held somewhere beyond the fourth wall where everyone is still alive. That's why we have three generations of Uchihas and Senjus sitting together, as well as Naruto's parents and Nawaki around. I mean, you didn't think we would be holding this in our universe where you wouldn't be able to come and vote, right?"

Lee continued, "We also got someone whose two vote ballots consists of things I particularly don't know of. He mentioned something about the author, which I can't for the life of me figure out what it is." **(A/N: I just broke the fourth wall)**

"How were you able to look at the votes without opening the envelope in your hands?" Ino asked suspiciously. Big sweat drop on the back of Lee's head.

"Um... Byakugan. Heh heh" Ino raised her fist, _WHACK!,_ "YOU'RE NOT A HYUUGA THEREFORE YOU CAN'T HAVE THE DOJUTSU, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN PERFORM A SINGLE NINJUTSU WITHOUT MESSING IT ALL UP!"

"Uhh, no. I actually performed ninjutsu once, heh heh, in th- the.. the... AWARDS!" Lee snapped his finger and looked too proud, WHACK!

Ino sighed. "Remember about 2 awards ago when you summoned Pakkun instead of a shadow clone?"

"Okay, okay. But it doesn't mean I can't try!" Lee unfurled the piece of paper in his hand. "The winner of the 'Best Paternal Figure' award is: Jiraiya!"

"And that's the second old person to receive an award, the first being Tsunade-sama. Seeing as I'm threatened by a 'stray fist', I will now step aside to let Lee present the award" Ino shivered as the audience burst into spontaneous applause. Particularly the other oldies (They're very patriotic.) Jiraiya stepped onstage to receive the award from Lee and a pat on the back from Ino that almost sent him flying off the stage. Then he stepped forward towards the podium and picked up the mike.

"Well, I am much honored to be selected as the winner of the 'Best Paternal Figure' award. I have to admit, raising two blonde and- I'd rather not say it- was quite a handful, but I'm glad to say that both of my 'sons' made me proud. Minato was a good Hokage and a great book critic, and I missed him terribly after he passed away. As for Naruto, I've seen him struggle between good and evil, and I'm happy to see him being where he is today. He may not be my biological son, but I will always be proud of him." Then he left the stage with his 'Golden Pakkun' trophy to more applause and cheers from the audience.

"It's no wonder Jiraiya got the award, having to accompany Hothead on a 4-week trip searching for Tsunade-sama, and also a half-deranged trip around the world for three years." By saying that, Ino earned herself a glare from Naruto who had been smiling at his uncle as he resumed his seat in the audience.

Lee spoke to his mike, "Also, he writes excellent smut. A guy who can write excellent smut always earns an extra point in the 'stay hidden' department." Lee smiled proudly, earning him a 'WHACK!' from Ino, "ERO-BAKA! YOU READ THOSE?"

"Heh heh" Lee backed away slowly, Ino hit him again in the head, effectively knoicking him unconscious to buy a few minutes.

"Yeah, unless he hides behind a lamp while peeking in the hot springs. No offence, Jiraiya." Ino nodded her head towards the former- currently while the show lasts- Toad Sage, who nodded back to show that none was taken.

By then, Lee has already woken up. Ino continued, "Well then, it's now time to reveal the next category! As some of you might have guessed, we would need a 'Best Maternal Figure' award to go with the 'Best Paternal Figure' award! Here then are our nominees:

Chiyo

Uzumaki Kushina

Hyuuga Hinata ('Oh yeah, she definitely qualifies!' 'Shut up Lee!')

Uchiha Mikoto

and Katou Shizune ('She's counted too?' 'Yeah. She practically babied Tonton and Tsunade-sama and kept her from doing anything... out of control')

So then, those are our nominees, and now the voting polls are open! The results will be out in 24 hours, so until then keep those votes coming! See you at the next award!" And the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed.

**I know I kinda exposed the hater, but never mind that. I was running out of jokes and reasons for Ino to hit Lee. Also, I'm still so sorry for the total lateness. Anyways, keep the votes coming, and don't forget to suggest new categories!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of sudden frog contamination in their room. Other than being a great pervert, Jiraiya is also skilled in the art of summoning any kind of frog, including the types that can be lethal.**


	13. Best Maternal Figure

"Good day to this hall." The entire Naruto cast stopped talking and turned around in their seats to face the stage, where Lee and Ino had emerged on the podium again. They all stared open-mouthed at Lee, who had just used a regal tone to effectively shut up more than 300 fictional characters.

"Ahem, thank you for your cooperation." Lee took out a piece of paper from his pocket and stepped forward, while his fellow host raised an eyebrow. "Um, Lee, what's with the regal air today?"

"Oh, no reason. Just that I seem to be a rather good mother." Ino blinked her eyes as she realized the joke in this statement of his, and then she suddenly realized what was going on. "Oh yeah, okay. You could become one."

"Not really. Just trying to live up to expectations."

Ino sighed. "Lee, real mothers don't carry themselves like queens. Even Katara doesn't do that. So just cut it out, will you?"

"Okay, fine." Sokka actually seemed relieved as he changed his expression back to the usual grin. "Other than that vote, we also got one for Ino. Heaven knows why anyone would choose her."

Ino slapped him, "BAKA! People voted for me because-" Lee interjected while Ino was speaking, "Yeah yeah. Because you're Ino. I know. We all know."

Lee continued, "Ino; if you were to be one; one of your tasks will be having to wash a whole pile of dirty clothes in the river every day. Yuck."

"And you said you would be a good mother. Imagine having a copy of yourself training all day. Even imagine the kind of clothes you'd we washing."

Lee took pride in himself, "I can totally do it. If not, I'd dare to go bunny hopping around Konoha for 500 times after the awards end."

Ino raised her brow in curiousity, "What makes you so sure you can do that?"

"I can take it. I bet on it."

Ino smirked, "But then you have the luck of Tsunade-sama over there. I don't think you can take it at all."

Lee just smiled, "Yes I can, as I said, I have the talent of ninjutsu and taijutsu."

"Boo, you whore." Ignoring the glare from her fellow host, Ino continued. "Anyway, our top three nominees are Shizune-sama, Kushina-sama and Mikoto-sama. Hours ago, Shizune-sama topped the list, but about thirty votes later that just might have changed. Lee, care to announce the winner?"

"With delight." Lee unrolled the piece of paper and cleared his throat. "The winner of the 'Best Maternal Figure' award is… Uzumaki Kushina!"

As the entire audience clapped loudly, the famed Red Hot-Blooded Habanero of Konohagakure came onstage to receive the award and a hug each from the two hosts. She then stepped towards the podium and took the mike. "Well, I never expected to be chosen as the 'Best Maternal Figure' winner. Honest to say, I'm really surprised I got it." A few laughs followed this statement. "But I really want to thank Naruto for being a great kid. It wasn't a long time spent with you in my last minutes, but the moments we spent together will forever remain in my memories. Because of you, I am what I am today. Thanks, Naruto." It was Naruto's turn to wipe away a tear from his eye as she watched his beautiful mother leave the stage to more applause.

"I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks Kushina-sama for giving birth to him and teaching Naruto how to wash his dirty socks before leaving him in his hallucination mode. Otherwise, he probably wouldn't be wearing clean clothes today." Kushina laughed as she resumed her seat next to Minato, who gave her a big hug and kiss on the cheek, Ino picked up her mike. "At first it seemed like we would have another winner who takes care of pigs, but thanks to the votes in the last few hours Kushina came out top. We still know you're a good 'mom', Shizune, don't worry." Shizune smiled at this as she confiscated yet another bottle of sake from Tsunade.

"Through a voter's request, Shizu-sama has yet another upcoming fic! In order to make it work, please send us questions you're dying to ask a shinobi like us!"

"We'll just explain what happens next when the first chapter of that new fic shows up, okay? Anyway, it's time to reveal the next category! This time we're going for 'Best Teacher' and Lee will announce the nominees. Be my guest, Bushy Brows."

Lee raised an eyebrow at the nickname before announcing the nominees list. "Okay, so for the nominees we have:

Jiraiya-sama

Yuuhi Kurenai

Hatake Kakashi

Orochimaru ('But then Anko-san will receive the award since Orochimaru is tied to a post and Sasuke's not here yet.' 'I still don't know why he's in the list though')

Sarutobi Asuma ('You go Asuma-sensei!' 'Ino...?')

Sarutobi Hiruzen

Might Guy ('Lee, don't say a word')

and Senju Tsunade

So those are the nominees, and voting commences right this moment! Get those votes in quick as the polls close in 24 hours! See you then!" And the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed.

* * *

**I know, I know! Not too much humor in it, I know! **

******The 'Best Maternal Figure' award probably has the funniest reactions I've ever seen at the polls. So cool it people, Tsunade might go punch you if you took a peek at the voting polls. Don't make her beat you guys up, okay? Believe me; you'll need to save your energy for the 'Most Embarassing Moment' award. I don't know whether I should look forward to that at all…**

**Also, 'Best Teacher', huh? I will give credit to Jashinista for the suggestions, as well as the current category. But still, send in your votes and category suggestions and SPECIAL REQUEST PLEASE? Send in the questions you're dying to ask our shinobi!**

**Disclaimer: Carrot-Bunny owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of Mama Kushina, the bloodthirsty Red-Hot Habanero and mother of Naruto. Nobody likes a former jinchuuriki to come at you, you know?**


	14. Best Teacher

**Sorry for the lateness, again! =_=**

**Please don't be surprised about who comes out as hosts today. Lee made a babysitting promise yesterday. If you feel a stinge confused, the temporary host ISN'T me.**

** Thanks! :)**

* * *

"Hel-lo Naruto characters!" The curtains parted and our two hosts stepped on stage- sort of. Shizune came out with Ino instead of Lee. "It's been 24 hours and the winner of the 'Best Teacher' award is out! Of course, in our dear universe 'teacher' does not necessarily mean an old lady with glasses hiding behind a school book. *Ahem AU Tsunade-sama* No, these teachers are more of the kick-ass type, the type that doesn't hesitate to give you a good kick in the butt if they think you suck!"

"The type that's learned from Sandaime, participated in the war and won several battles, taught the members of Team 7 _and s_ummoned toads, slugs, and snakes all before the age of eighteen! That's what you call awesome!" from the audience; beside Tsunade; he stands up and gives the host and the temporary host a thumbs up.

"Sometimes I wonder why Lee actually agreed to babysit Tsunade-sama for the day."

"Maybe it's because he wanted to know what it feels like to become a mother. Oh well, works for me." Shizune cleared her throat and continued. "Anyway, we're here to prove that Sandaime and isn't the only cool teachers out there! Yup, there are tons more teachers like that and they're all in the running for the award! For example, we got a few votes for Tsunade-sama for being my mentor, and this guy with snow-white hair I really like!"

"I see what you did there, Shizune-sama!." Ino grimaced at the thought. "We also got someone asking that Iruka-sensei be given a mention."

A voice came from the audience "At least someone remembers! I used a jutsu to figure out that someone was missing when I read off the nominees. I was right all along." which earned Lee a fist on the face, this time from Tsunade herself. "BAKA! I don't care if you're here to watch over me! YOU. DON'T. USE. JUTSU." then they sat back down as Lee let Tsunade off watch while she grabbed hold of yet ANOTHER bottle of sake.

"Right. Speaking of Iruka, someone suggested him for teaching everyone in the academy. Honestly speaking, he did help to keep things amusing."

Lee shouted from the audience, "I thought that was my job!" Tsunade pulled him back to his seat, "NOT TODAY." Lee sat back down quietly, as he fears the Hokage's death glare.

"On the other hand, Tsunade-sama could give him a few lessons on how to lose in a cool way. You have to admit, talking about youth and losing all the time is kind of embarrasing, and that's one thing The Legendary Sucker and Lee shares." The said 'Legendary Sucker' glared angrily at her raven-haired apprentice who had dubbed her the 'Legendary Sucker'. Little does she know that EVERYONE knows her as that.

Shizune continued, "Anyway, let's get down to business and announce the winner! In the last few hours, we've had a neck-to-neck race between Jiraiya-sama and Kakashi-kun, with each nominee pulling ahead by one vote every few minutes and the pain of the famous Author and Reader competing against one another. However, there can only be one winner, and we are here to give out the 'Best Teacher' award to: Kakashi!"

The audience burst into tumultuous applause for their copy-cat pervert. Kakashi came onstage to receive the award and another pat on the back from Ino that almost sent him flying off the stage (those pats-on-the-back of the hosts have become something of an Naruto Dattebayo Awards tradition) and then stepped onto the podium. "Well, I really didn't expect to win the 'Best Teacher' award. I didn't even do much of any teaching, just occasionally disposing some wisdom, a few copied moves and a good book to read. But I'm glad you all did learn something from me, and I can only hope it was something good. Thank you again!" And the copy-cat pervert left the stage to more applause.

"Oh, don't worry Kakashi-sensei, we learned lots of good stuff from you, including how to control a pride-filled Kyuubi container over there." Ino earned herself a glare from said pride-filled Kyuubi container who had been smiling at his sensei as he resumed his seat in the audience. "Now people, get those battleships out and ready for the next category is 'Favorite Canon Pairing'! That's right; we've reached the 'Favorite Pairing' awards! We'll be giving out the 'Favorite Semi-Canon Pairing', the 'Favorite Crack Pairing' and the 'Favorite Slash Pairing' in the next few days, but for starters let's get back to the original pairings themselves! By 'original pairing' we mean couples who have kissed and/or are married in the series. Any implied pairings or crushes will be considered semi-canon."

"Please do note that contrary to popular belief, SasuNaru is NOT a canon pairing. It will be included in the nominees list for the 'Favorite Slash Pairing' award due to it being implied in the... kissing scene from Episode 3, but do remember that it is not considered as canon. By the way, both Naruto and Sasuke _('I wonder where he is')_ want to remind fans that they have never, do not have and will never have any romantic feelings towards each other. Anyone who disregards this will have to beware of the chidori and/or a full-blown Tails Mode courtesy of their respective lovers."

"Alright, Shizune-sama! Now that we've got that out of the way, here's the nominee list! We have:

NaruHina ('Canon ever since chapter 615.' 'Ino, you're not supposed to spoil it.')

AsuKure

MinaKushi

ShikaTema ('But we don't know if they're canon!' 'They are. They gave hints in some episodes and it's pretty obvious they are.')

and JirTsu ('WHAT! They're canon?' 'Before Jiraiya-sama died, Tsunade-sama realized her feelings for him. She told me. And besides, I saw how she reacted.')

And of course, you could suggest CANON pairings we missed. The producers only accept canon pairings for now. We don't want to see Kakashi-kun and Sakura-san! Besides, HE'S MINE!" Shizune stepped back to let Ino have a turn.

"Hold your horses, Shizune-sama! We're still not sure of that! Anyways, that's our nominees, and now voting starts right this minute! Let the shipping battles begin!"

"Ino, don't urge them on! Oh boy, I can feel we're in for some serious drama…" And the two hosts headed backstage as the curtains fell on the stage.

* * *

**As a voter pointed out earlier, yes. I ship NaruHina. But then, I also ship ShikaTema. They're practically canon anyway, so don't think I rigged everything. Remember what I said in the first chapter, I'd probably be redoing this once the show ends. _(Oh dear Kami, it's nearing. I want to cry now!)_**

** Disregarding this, do remember to vote for your favorite canon pairing, and no I will NOT be entertaining any requests for Kakasaku (The real Shizune did say it's disgusting. I actually agree with her) or any other pairing that's not canon. The nominees list is fixed until any of you recall any married couple OR canon pairing I missed out. Voting ends in 24 hours, so get your votes in now!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of the best teacher in the Naruto universe, who can teach you a thing or two about stealing other people's stuff. His lessons are proven to be very effective and in some cases deadly.**


	15. Favorite Canon Pairing

**Note: Lee's babysitting shift is over, but expect Shizune hosting every 10-15 awards or so; given Lee's 'don't back down' motto.**

* * *

"The war is over. The winner has emerged. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the winner of the canon shipping battles!" The audience clapped loudly as the two hosts of the Naruto Dattebayo Awards appeared onstage.

"Well, it's been quite a show at the voting polls. Unexpectedly, we have votes for people we missed, although most of the voters admitted they chose it just to see a good catfight. Well, sorry to disappoint you folks, but we've drained Tsunade's chakra for today's awards presentation ceremony. We don't want this awards show to turn into a battlefield." Although her chakra had been taken away, Mai could shoot mental punches at the other nominees with her eyes, and it was a good thing the rest of the nominees was sitting on separate rows (nowhere near Tsunade) so they wouldn't notice the Hokage's glaring at them.

"We have someone asking when the answers to the questions will be posted. As we said, it's an UPCOMING fic. We need more answers, so... yeah. You guys can send in more questions for your favorite shinobi to answer!"

"We also got a vote for SasuIno, with someone probably hoping to see one of them get pushed off the stage by Sakura." From her seat in the auditorium, Sakura grinned devilishly. "I think that can be easily arranged…"

"Ahem, that is if they actually win the award. Also, we've got MinaKushi and NaruHina in a neck-to-neck battle at the polls, with NaruHina leading by a couple of votes. Wow, never knew the Namikazes were so good with the girls, as so can I" Lee fixed his hair and winked at the audience; with the auditorium groaning in disgust and Ino hitting Lee.

"It's really hard to believe that you can score a beautiful girl, much less two." Ino ignored her fellow host's glare and continued. "We've also got a dozen or so votes for AsuKure, but sadly they're overtaken by MinaKushi and NaruHina. Looks like Asuma-sensei and Red can't compete with an angst-ridden father and son, eh? But anyway, enough chit-chat. Lee, the winner?"

Sokka cleared his throat dramatically. "Expecting the title character winning the award, I'm afraid we have been wrong for quite a while. The winner of the 'Favorite Canon Pairing' is: MinaKushi!"

The audience burst into applause mingled with murmurings among the audience about the former Jinchuuriki and the former Hokage. Minato and Kushina came onstage to receive their awards and then stood in front of the podium awkwardly, not daring to look at each other. Finally Kushina accepted the mike Toph offered her. "Um, I never knew Lee wanted girls so.. good luck with that, much less that he would score them with his... youthfulness." The entire audience burst into laughter, "Anyway, as for Minato; when we were kids I just thought he looked cute and charming, and that I would like to get to know him better. I never really knew that.. this whole mumbo jumbo was going to happen much less to our son and I still have no idea what's going on for the most of it. We didn't even know we had this much fans. So, to all the fans out there, thanks for voting for us."

She then passed the mike to Minato, who stared at the mike like he didn't know what to do with it. Finally he spoke. "Well, I've met the girl I'm destined to spend the rest of my afterlife with. So that's all I have to say, and thank you for your votes anyway." He then passed the mike back to Ino and followed his wife offstage as they returned to their seats together in the audience.

The blind girl cleared her throat to draw the audience's attention back to the stage. "Now that we've got the 'Favorite Canon Pairing' winner locked down, it's time to begin another shipping war with the 'Favorite Semi-Canon Pairing'! Yes, this promises to be a fiercer battle than the one before, with the majority of pairings most used by fanfiction writers falling into this category, including the infamous SasuNaru! But we've still got plenty of competition on the nominees list, and here are our nominees!"

Lee unrolled his piece of paper and read from it. "In the running for 'Favorite Semi-Canon Pairing' are:

SasuNaru ('Anyone wanna bet this comes out tops?' 'Ino, we're prohibited from betting on the results of the voting.' 'Oh yeah. Too bad.')

SasuKarin ('I knew he was Crazy Girl's ex-boyfriend!' Ino earned a glare from said Crazy Girl.)

SasuSaku ('Why so many pairings with Sasuke in it?' 'Remember "The Fandom"?' 'Oh, right.')

SasuPinky ('Isn't that the same as SasuSaku?' 'No it isn't, at least according to "The Fandom".')

KakaSaku ('Disregarding the fact they have a really bi age gap.' 'Again, this is thanks to "The Fandom".')

SasuIno ('Another opponent for Sakura? Oh, thank Kami WE ARE GONNA WIN.' 'Shut up, Ino.')

LeeIno ('I wonder why our two dear hosts are suddenly not looking at each other,' Sakura smirked as she watched the stage.)

SasuHina (Hinata continued to blush uncontrollably, only to stop when she noticed both Sakura and Ino are glaring daggers at her. Tsunade isn't the only one skilled in mental weaponry.)

NawaKushi ('Never liked him much,' Kushina muttered from her seat beside her husband. Minato put a comforting arm around her. 'Don't worry; you'll be my girl always.')

NaruFuka ('Oh yeah, the rhyming pairing,' Lee commented as he saw the infamous kisser jump up and down on her seat excitedly.)

KakaHanare ('Wait, didn't they kiss in one episode?' 'Kakashi insisted it wasn't canon, and threatened to fry us alive if we dared put that pairing in the "Favorite Canon Pairing" category.' '…')

OroTsu (Orochimaru; free from the post as of Chapter 627 in the manga; was suddenly aware of a certain Sannin's burning glare. Hint, he/she is not a Hokage.)

SaiSaku (It was Lee's turn to glare daggers at Sai, who had been trying to flirt with Sakura but was failing due to the fact that she was too busy glaring daggers at Ino.)

and ChojiIno ('OMG EW EW EW EW NOOOO EW' 'It's not my fault, Ino.' _WHACK!_)

That's all our nominees, and now the voting polls are open! All hands on deck for the shipping battles!"

"Yeah, go ahead and urge them on. You'll take care of the casualties afterwards, got it?" "What casualties?" "Mark my words, there _will _be casualties." And so saying, the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed.

* * *

**Wow, what a lot of mental flying daggers and punches! Looks like everyone's ready for the shipping battles! Guns at the ready, people, and let the fighting – I mean, voting begin!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee owns nothing except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will be put in the midst of the mental-flying-dagger-and-punches showdown going on between the Naruto cast. We do not guarantee your safety, or that you will come out alive for that matter.**

**P.S.: Thanks to the dozen or so people who voted for NaruHina! Our side may not have won, but we know it is THE canon pairing in the Naruto universe! NaruHina forever, people! Now excuse me while I go hide under my bed to protect myself from the SasuHinarians… *runs***


	16. Favorite Semi Canon Pairing

**I'm back and I have the results! You guys will be SO happy to know who arrives today! HINT HINT HINT!**

* * *

"Well people, it's been more than 24 hours and we're back with the results!" Lee announced as he and Ino returned to the stage. "We apologize for the delay, but we had an emergency meeting to attend that regards today's awards show. Anyway, we're now here to announce the winner of the 'Favorite Semi-Canon Pairing' award!"

"We've had a few votes for SasuNaru and SasuSaku and Kakasaku, and also a few people asking for clarifications on the difference between semi-canon and crack pairings." Ino continued.

"So here's the lowdown on the system: Semi-canon pairings are pairings that have been hinted at in the show, either through crushes, slight blushing, flirting, or in the case of 'The Fandom'. Crack pairings are pairings that are invented by fans and do not have much possibility of existing in the actual canon. For example, KakaSaku (though it was featured here, there are still some who refer it as a crack), making it semi-canon, while SasuKarin is crack because there is no way they could be together without Sasuke trying to strike Karin dead. Sorry Crazy Girl, but that's how it works," she said to Karin, who had winced at the idea of being struck dead by a deranged Uchiha clan survivor. The frightening part was that not so long ago it had been an actual possibility.

Ino cleared her throat "Anyway, SasuNaru and KakaSaku are both considered crack. Some of you may think otherwise, but that kiss between Sasuke and Naruto in the final episode was nothing more than an accident, but we still decided to include it here. Just so you know, Naruto has always been able to relate better to girls than to boys, which is why she had a close friendship with Sakura, Hinata and me. He is also rather friendly to other boys as a rule, at least when he's not kicking their butts. That explains his relationship with the Sasuke."

Lee stepped forward, "And now, enough about me and moving on to the results! We've had a fierce battle between SasuIno and SasuHina, with both pairings receiving strong support from voters. However, there can be only one winner, and our 'Favorite Semi-Canon Pairing' is: SasuIno!"

"Yes, that's right! Thanks to you voters, I will be receiving another award!" Lee glared at his fellow host and then grabbed the other trophy. "Due to Sasuke not being here, I guess I'll just receive this award."

"Who said you would?" The door burst open, revealing Sasuke and his 3 other teammates. The people around looked shocked either to Sasuke's lateness, or his grand entrance, or even both. But nobody knew what the other was thinking.

Lee's heartbeat raced in fear, "I... hihi- wanted t-to... uhh.. receive it.. to GIVE IT TO YOU! Yeah.. to give it to you, hehe." Sasuke came up the stage and Lee presented the award, on a soft pillow, to avoid anyone dying tonight. The audience stayed silent.

"If you're wondering why I wasn't here on the other categories, then let me announce what just happened. A cat just crossed by me and told me about the destiny of-" Kakashi stood from the audience, pointing at Sasuke, "THAT'S MY LINE! And you got it all wrong!"

Ino stepped forward, "Give it a rest, Kakashi-sensei. Apparently, he's not lying." She then turned to Sasuke, "Continue." Ino stepped off the podium.

"Alright, so.. yeah. Cat and all. I have to say, thank you for the votes and I will personally kill the people who voted for me and Naruto-"

"-Naruto and I-"

"-Sorry, Naruto and I because of that incident that happened during the assigning of teams. Thank you all for that and Ino, continue." Sasuke stepped away to let Ino talk

"Another wondering session here. If you're wondering what just happened a few hours ago during the meeting, then let me announce what just happened a few hours ago at the emergency meeting. Earlier on, the producers and Lee and I have discussed what we should do if Sasuke shows up, and he did, but that was unexpected." Ino cleared her throat, "So half the producers wanted Lee to receive the awards for him because they wanted him tied to a post. And also, the other half voted to keep the seats reserved for them at the same row of the Konoha 11 and Naruto's parents- this is quite a large auditorium by the way- so if you may, uh... Karin, Jugo, and... Shisui-"

"Suigetsu" the said Taka member corrected Ino from the door,

"-uh yeah. Suigetsu. If you three may, please take the three vacant seats there and will someone keep Karin separated from Sasuke's seat?" Jugo nodded, "Thank you. So anyways, Lee and I voted to stay mutual though Lee wanted to take all of Sasuke's trophies. The result is a bounty on Lee's head. I think I'm done here, my final words before we move on to the next category are thank you so much for the votes. 'Kay. I'm done here, Lee." Ino stepped aside to let Lee speak, as Sasuke made his way down the stage to his seat with his other teammates in which Jugo's having a hard time restraining Karin.

"To those of you who were waiting to see Sasuke and I embarrassed on stage, sorry to disappoint you but that's not going to happen!" Ino grinned cheekily. "After the dagger throwing incident yesterday, I already had a hunch we were going to win this award and so I took precautions! So now everything's okay between us, and now we have something important to say."

"And now to end today's show on a lighter note, we're preparing a treat for you voters! The 'Favorite Crack Pairing' award is now an open-vote award! Voters can vote for your favourite crack pairing, and the one that gets the most votes wins! So don't hesitate; vote now! And that's all for today!" The two hosts then left the stage as the curtains closed.

* * *

**Yes, that's right! Open-vote! You can choose from any pairing you think is a crack pairing! But then, please make up your mind so we'll avoid any delays or so. I got back from important things and I expected a full-blown fight. But what I got was WAY more than that. Keep it up and unleash the fangirl/fanboy/Kyuubi in you!**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of our semi-canon duo. They are quite a formidable opponent if you must know.**


	17. Favorite Crack Pairing

**Sorry for the lateness. Got busy, but I promise I'll come with tomorrow's chapter at the right time.**

* * *

"We're BA-ACK!" "Lee, they already know we're back. It's been days after all." "Yeah whateverr." "*sigh* Why did I ever become a host with you…" That was how the two hosts appeared onstage.

"Well, my dear Miss Beifong, you're not the only one who's asking why we were the ones called up to be hosts. Apparently a few SasuHina fans were terribly crushed by the incident following the new incident to come-"

"Ahem. No spoilers, Lee." Ino warned him

"Uhh yeah. I'll steer clear of that. So we're well aware our little awards show listed 'Naruto U. and Ino Y.' as main characters on the site, and that most of our voters are Ino supporters, never mind that some of them are Hinata fans as 're terribly sorry to all the voters out there who had their hearts crushed at their favorite pairing rendered impossible, and we would recommend a visit to Sakura for some healing that would put your hearts right."

Ino finally spoke "Also, people think we're biased. The answer is no. We're not biased. The nominees were chosen from notable posts in forums. We don't really mean to crush any hearts. That's why we made this one an open vote."

"We're probably to blame for not telling you this, but there is another category for the 'Favorite Slash Pairing' award coming right after this one, so voters can vote for their favorite slash pairings then. Not surprisingly, we did get a number of votes for genderbent characters, so if we change the genderbent characters back into their respective genders, at least we now have an inkling of who will be the winner in that category. As for the 'Favorite Crack Pairing' award, we really gotta hand it to you fans for coming up with the wackiest crack pairings in the fandom. We've got PainHina, SasoDei, KabuIno, ItaNaru, and my personal favorite, OonoChiyo. Of course, that last one might actually qualify as a semi-canon pairing."

"Just for the record, I have absolutely nothing with Kabuto. Ew. He's great at healing, yes, and that's that."

"Don't flame us for this, okay? We're just gonna end with the conclusion that we're not biased and it's in your decision whether Ino gets an award or not, so now here is the winner for the 'Favorite Crack Pairing' award: NaruIno!"

The jinchuuriki of the Nine-tails came onstage to stand beside his fellow winner and receive the award from the youthful taijutsu master. Then he stepped towards the podium and picked up the mike. "Well, since Lee and Ino did give me a hint NaruIno would win, I'm pretty much prepared for this. I understand the fans think Ino and I would be cute together, seeing as we're the same biological age and we practically have the same hair color, but honestly I just think of her as a friend and like a sister. You guys practically know the one I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"Same here. I regard Naruto as nothing more than a friend and a brother with a nice pet inside of him." Ino grinned as Naruto glared slightly at her. "That said, I'm still single and available, so all you single guys out there take note. That's all I have to say. Anything more from you, Nine-tails?"

"Nope, nothing." Naruto then left the stage to return to his seat next to Hinata, who gave him a hug to reassure him that she wasn't upset in the least. If he could tolerate all the fangirls that paired her with Sasuke, she had no reason to be angry.

"Alright, now that the 'Favorite Crack Pairing' award's over and done with, it's time for the 'Favorite Slash Pairing' award! SakuIno fans, this is where you pay attention!" Sokka tried his best to ignore Azula's glare from the audience (she didn't want to be involved in ANY pairing, but sadly for her the voters have other ideas)."

"This time it's also going to be an open-vote award, but for the sake of those voters who wish to participate but don't have a specific pairing in mind we've provided a list of the more common slash pairings to choose from. Of course, voters who already know who to vote for can simply disregard this. But I suggest you stay and read in case Ino hits me or something. Ino, the list?"

"Yep. So some nominees for this category are:

SasuNaru ('Sasuke's possive with lil Naru-san' 'Shut up, Lee. Just because you aren't in the list doesn't mean you can just tease them.')

KakaIru ('Our perverted sensei can make Dolphin-chan blush' 'Well, you do have a point in that.')

GaaNaru ('They do both understand their pasts' 'I'm glad you said something positive, Lee. That's the first time.' 'Alright. WEASEL!' _WHACK!_)

NejiNaru ('Fates & Destiny can be overwritten' 'Can be.')

Uchihacest ('Wait, what's that?' 'SasuIta' 'Oh ok. Brotherly love heh heh.' _WHACK!_)

KibaShino ('The teammates who rarely show much' 'Wanna bet?' 'Nah. You'll lose.' _WHACK!_)

ItaNaru ('Making a certain lil brother angry with jealousy' 'We both know they were never canon AND WILL NEVER BE' 'Shut up, Ino.' _WHACK!_)

SasoDei ('FIRST ONE FROM THE AKATSUKI WOOP WOOP!' 'You know Konan-sama will be receiving their awards')

ObiDei ('LEE IS A GOOD BOY!' 'Shut up, Lee.')

ObiPein ('LEE IS A GOOD BOY!' 'I said SHUT UP LEE!')

ObiRin ('LEE IS A GOOD BOY!' 'Alright, that's it. CHAKRA ENCHANCED PUNCH YAAAAHH!' _WHACK!_)

SakuIno ('NOOOOOO NOT FOREHEAD GIRL!' 'Haha poor you.' _WHACK!_ 'BAKA! You should've been happy when you paired up with Sakura in the semi-canon category.' 'I was')

SakuTen ('Is that even allowed, Ino?' 'Why yes. Yes it is, Lee.')

AnkoTema ('Say what?' _WHACK!_)

InoHina ('YOU HINATA AND INO FANS MAY NOW JOIN FORCES AND VOTE FOR THEM!' 'Uh yeah sure, Lee.')

KureAnko ('Two for Anko-sama, you go Anko-sama!' 'And none for Rock Lee BYE!')

TsunaShizu ('SENSEI!' 'Now you're shouting in the mike, Ino.' _WHACK!_)

TenHina ('Don't quote Mean Girls, Lee.')

TsuSaku ('AHA! YOU GO FOREHEAD GIRL!' 'Wait till you see the next nominee.')

TsuIno ('NOOOOO!' 'Told you so' _WHACK!_)

HinaSaku ('NONE FOR ME, ME! YOU GO, ME!' 'Ino, shut up. You have three nominations for this award.' _WHACK!_)

GamabuntaIno ('WHY THE FUCK WOUD ANYONE PAIR ME WITH A FROG?' 'Isn't Gamabunta a man?' 'Yes! DELETE!')

AnkoSaku ('YOU GO, SAKURA!' 'This will be awkward.' _WHACK!_)

SakuRin ('Isn't Rin dead?' 'Not in here, Lee.')

Naruko/Sasuko ('PERF!' 'Yeah right, Lee.')

Korrasami – wait, WHAT?" The entire hall turned silent at the mention of two characters they knew very well did_ not_ exist in their universe. Ino stared at the piece of paper in her hand. "'Korrasami'? What in the name of Kami is THAT?"

"Hold your horses! Stop the show!" cried a voice as a girl who looks exactly like Shizune Katou with long brown hair carrying a gold pen stepped onstage. The audience looked around for the source of the voice, until they realized it was the Shizune look-alike who was talking. More than 300 fictional characters stared as the Shizune look-alike bounded over to the podium. The Shizune look-alike stood up, muttering to herself, "Now this is embarrassing." She stopped muttering when it noticed over 300 pairs of eyes staring at her. "Um, why is everyone looking at me like I'm a crazy mofo with Gene Simmon's tongue?"

Ino sighed. "Kagami, in our universe, a crazy mofo with Gene Simmon's tongue does exist. Sorry Orochimaru-sama."

"Oh, right. I can never understand the wacky combinations of animals and people in your world. Anyway, to rephrase my earlier question: why is everyone staring at me like that?"

"Probably because they've never seen a Shizune look-alike" Lee explained. "Ladies and gentlemen, meet Shizuneeee, the fanfiction author who's helping us with the awards show. She's in charge of deciding on the categories and writing the nominees lists, and I presume she's here to address the presence of a non-Naruto pairing in the list."

"Thank you. You may call me Kagami." Kagami/Shizuneeee cleared her throat, "Well, you presumed correctly. I was watching the whole show from backstage and was surprised to hear Ino read out 'Korrasami'." The girl grinned sheepishly while scratching out the mistake from Ino's list, "Sorry about that, folks. I don't normally read Naruto slash, so I was racking my brains for slash pairings I'd come across before while writing the nominees list and Korrasami slipped out. You see, Legend Of Korra is the only slash pairing I actually read." It sighed at the blank expressions on the Naruto cast's faces. "Of course, you don't know what Korrasami is, do you? You just need to know that it's a legend Of Korra slash pairing and you'll probably never encounter it ever again. That's all. Oh, and voters please disregard the pairing, it's not a nominee. I think that's about it." With that, the girl jumped off the podium and walked backstage.

"Okay, so now we know what that was all about (although I still don't get what is Korrasami), and now the voting polls are open! Voting closes in 24 hours, so do remember to get your votes in pronto! And that concludes today's show! See you tomorrow! And we mean it!" And the two hosts left the stage as the curtains fell.

* * *

**The goof on the nominees list back there was an actual mistake. I was ready to publish this chapter when my instincts told me to do one last check on the writing. As it turns out, my instincts were far better and more accurate than Ino's, and I decided to make a joke out of it just for fun. And to all the Legend Of Korra fans out there, yeah I'm a Korrasami shipper, so sue me. Oh, and don't forget to vote!**

**Disclaimer: ****Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will have to beware of a seemingly innocent Shizune look-alike. If you think the pen is nothing more than a harmless writing tool, you are sorely mistaken. Percy Jackson fans, you've been called out!**

**P.S.: I just got a DeviantArt account! Come watch me at kagami-no-sabaku! Yeah, this is a bit of shameless self-advertising. Sorry.**


	18. Favorite Slash Pairing

"_Hey yo, me say hey-ey-ey-ey yo. Let daylight come and we don't wanna go home…_" "Shut up, Lee." Ino sighed as she dragged her fellow host onstage. "Sorry about that, people. The Konoha 11- practically 12 now since Sasuke's here- had a night out in the town last night and I think Lee hasn't completely recovered from the hangover yet. Strangely enough, he was the only one with a hangover." She punched Lee's forehead with her fist, immediately shutting him up. "There. That should do it."

"Ow, Ino that hurt!" Lee tended his forehead with an ice pack he was ALWAYS prepared with, "Lee, we have an awards show to host. So try and keep yourself together for at least the next several minutes, okay?" Ino turned back to the audience. "Well folks, we're here to announce the winner of the 'Favorite Slash Pairing' award."

"Due to a mistake in the last awards show, we've had a couple of votes for a non-Naruto pairing, which we've already specified is not in the running for the award. However, it was just a little joke, and thankfully the other voters did stick to the rules and vote for pairings in this fandom."

Lee continued, "We've had quite a decent amount of response for this time's award, with the Uchiha Brothers, AnkoIno, and SasuNaru almost tying. AT LEAST I'M NOT PAIRED WITH A GUY! EW." Lee suddenly winced in pain and rubbed his forehead. "Ow, the aftereffects of an Ino Yamanaka punch-in -the-head are starting to get to me…"

"Well, you deserved it. You're too gay." Ino ignored the groans of pain from her fellow host. "Anyway, the Uchiha Brothers, AnkoIno, and SasuNaru did almost tie. I suppose you voters are still letting the creative juices flow ever since the 'Favorite Crack Pairing' award. But anyway, let's cut to the chase and give this award to our 'Favorite Slash Pairing' winners: THE UCHIHA BROTHERS!"

"And which I believe Itachi-san was free of the post." Lee added as the two brothers came onstage to receive the award, with Sasuke beaming and Itachi with a thundercloud over his face. After a few giggles and winks at Sakura on the so-called Ultimate Loner's part, Itachi took the mike and stepped towards the podium. "Well, I'm happy you guys chose me as an award winner, though Sasuke isn't too happy about it. I know the two of us have been pretty distant and hateful during the series, but honestly we're just brothers and nothing more. Oh, and Sasuke wanted to tell you that he has never, isn't and will never be involved in aslash relationship, and that he's happy to keep it that way, but hhe's not really in a good mood now so I'll have to be her spokesperson. That's about all, and thank you again for all your votes!" Then he skipped away offstage, with Sasuke trailing behind him and muttering darkly about striking crazy fangirls dead with lightning.

"Well, that's our 'Favorite Slash Pairing', and now moving on to the next award! This time the votes go to 'Scariest Villain', and voters are supposed to vote for the villain they think is most capable of scaring the daylights out of them! Lee, the nominees list?"

"I personally went through the list with Kagami to make sure no one like Amon or something slips into the list. We don't want a replay of the last awards show, now do we?" Lee took out a piece of paper and started reading from it. "The nominees for the 'Scariest Villain' are as follows:

Uchiha Sasuke (At the time, the half-deranged orphan with a dark cloud over his face and muttering darkly about Kami knows what terrifying things seemed the scariest of all the Naruto cast members. Even one of his fangirls had chosen to scoot about two inches the other way so he was a relatively safe distance from him.)

Pein ('Though he's less menacing when slumped on the ground with a stream of drool coming out of his mouth." Lee earned a glare from the former 'God'.)

Shimura Danzou ('That creepy sneer is reason enough to nominate him.' 'Well said, Lee, even though I can't see his entire face.')

Orochimaru (Sasuke shuddered in his seat and Sakura put a comforting arm around him.)

Uchiha Obito ('Now there's a strong competitor. I don't know who is going to come out tops, him or Orochimaru. We didn't even let him sit with the audience for fear they would have been Tsukuyomi-ed on the spot.')

So those are our nominees, and now the voting polls are open! This time we're allocating a longer period of time before closing the polls, because we're all going away on vacation! That's right, one whole award-free week of nothing but sun and fun! We'll only be back to give out the award next week, but that doesn't mean you voters can slack off on the votes! No, we want to see those polls full to the brim with your votes! YOU CAN VOTE UP TO 20 TIMES NOW! So make sure you divide your votes for your favorite villains!"

"You know that half the reason why we needed a vacation is to spend time with the dead?" Ino thought about her father and waved to him from stage.

"Yeah. Also, we decided after the whole 'Favorite Pairing' fiasco we all needed a break, especially since we've been giving out awards daily for almost three weeks. It's quite tiring to have to count your votes, sort out the winners _and _fend off the oddballs who simply drop a line to criticize the show. So yeah, we deserved a holiday, and that's also why we went out partying last night only to have Lee hung over the next morning. Don't worry, we'll make sure he's completely sober before the awards show next time. So see you all next week!" And with that, the two hosts left the stage as the curtains closed, only to open again a week later.

* * *

**While the Naruto cast is on holiday, one unfortunate Shizune look-alike has to get ready for a whole week's worth of hospital recovery! That's right, apparently I've realized the side effects for fainting on purpose to get out of gym don't fret, I'll still try to update on the weekend (no promises though). In the meantime, get those votes in quickly, and a few wishes of good luck wouldn't go amiss either! See you soon!**

**Disclaime****r: ****Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will be put to work sorting the dozens of votes that come in every day. See if you like that.**


	19. Scariest Villain

"Hello people. Nice to see you again." The audience stopped their confused whisperings and turned to the stage as two not-so-happy hosts emerged from backstage. They had already been surprised enough when they were told to evacuate their current lodgings for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards (which by the way were built in a safe place where no unwanted wanderers from the world behind the fourth wall could stumble across them), and even more surprised when told to assemble in the hall for the next awards show, with sad faces on the hosts.

"If you're all wondering why you were suddenly chased out of your beds in the middle of the night last night, then first of all I suggest you make yourselves comfortable, because the answer isn't exactly a pretty one." Ino waited for a moment while the audience readied themselves for what was to come and then continued. "Last night, while Lee and I were on holiday with the rest of Konoha 12; Sasuke with us. Anyway, we got a messenger hawk from Gaara saying that something had gone wrong here behind the fourth wall. It turns out that one of our nominees for the 'Scariest Villain' award has been on the loose when he should have been closely guarded by what was supposed to be the best security in Konohagakure. Don't worry, we've got him under control now, and Naruto's currently giving the guards a nice hard grilling backstage, which is why he couldn't be here now." The runaway nominee in question happened to be Obito, but the hosts had decided after discussion with Gaara and the rest of the Konoha 12 that it would be unwise to reveal to the audience that a psycho freak with a whirling eye had been roaming about the previous night.

"We got a few voters asking why Madara Uchiha, or Mad-Eyes as some like to call him, wasn't in the nominees list. Well, it turned out that after he'd taken that hit from Hashirama-sama's knife and lost his whack, he's been a bit out of sorts since. That is to say, he did live. Of course, a blow to the brain makes one rather unstable and we couldn't bring him here for fear that he might try to destroy everything and everyone in sight. So sorry to disappoint you folks, but he's out of the running for the award. Call us selfish but we do value our cast's safety more than whether someone who once tried to kill us gets an award for what he did."

"We also had some questions about Wild Gaara. Well, who'd call a guy who once got his decisions pulled by an enormous raccoon beast inside him scary?" Gaara scowled at the boy in the green suit bringing up the humiliating memory. "We admit he'd definitely scare the pants off even his siblings, but technically he's not a villain, never mind that he tried to bury us under the desert."

"So anyway, we've got some fierce competition between Orochimaru and Obito at the polls, but in the end we have one winning by a few votes. So without further ado, we are proud to give you our 'Scariest Villain': the boy who's on his man-period 24/7, also known as Orochimaru!"

Orochimaru glared at the two hosts for a while as he came onstage to receive the award. Then he stepped towards the podium and picked up the mike. "Well, I do say that this is a better award than the 'Favorite Slash Pairing' award, so Sasuke, HA. Although I would like to clarify that I am NOT on my period 24/7. Actually I NEVER HAD ONE CONSIDERING I'M A GUY."

He paused for a while, finally noticing how rash his statement was. He cleared his throat and continued, "I may be a shinobi prodigy, but my body is still the same as any other grown men. So voters, thank you very much for that idea of yours regarding a FEMALE'S time of the month, which you may use to describe Tsunade's fits every day. And thank you again for choosing me as your 'Scariest Villain'!" He then stepped off the stage to the tumultuous applause coming from the audience, particularly from the Otogakure citizens, who still remain very patriotic despite having been woken up at the ungodly hour of three a.m. to be told to leave their comfortable beds. It's not a feat most people can manage, especially to Tsunade.

"Alright, now it's time to reveal the next category! This time we have 'Favorite Tailed Beast' and your nominees are as follows:

Shukaku ('Ichibi.' 'Hey, we did mention Shukaku once earlier, did we?' 'Why yes, Lee. I was beginning to wonder that.')

Matatabi ('Nibi.')

Isobu ('Sanbi' 'Is Yagura-sama around?' 'Yeah, everyone is. Save Naruto and the ANBU guards.')

Son Goku ('Yonbi')

Kokuo ('Gobi')

Saiken ('Rokubi')

Chomei ('Nanabi' 'Anyways, did you see Fu during the Edo Tensei? That was scary.' 'Hn.')

Gyuki ('Hachibi')

Kurama ('Kyuubi. Which reminds me, NARUTO! ARE YOU DONE!' From backstage, a reply rang out. 'NOT YET!')

and the Juubi ('That doesn't exist anymore. Besides, how are all of the tailed beasts gonna fit in this hall?' 'Simple. Their jinchuurikis will receive the award.')

* * *

**Thank you for all your well wishes, they're what kept me alive through the first three days of exams! Here's a hug for all of you! *hug*. Putting aside my horrible fate, don't forget to vote! Believe me, Lee and Ino will need something to keep their minds off their lost vacation.**

**Also, sorry for the lateness. I got my first strike on my Texts From Last Night fanfic (which got deleted =_=) and I couldn't post for like two days. Sorry about that.**

**Disclaimer: Shizuneeee does not own anything except for the Naruto Dattebayo Awards and the 'Golden Pakkun' trophies. Anyone who uses them without permission will be put on guard duty for Uchiha Madara. We suggest you buy insurance for your brain, seeing as you probably won't be able to keep it any longer.**


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